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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/Fairly_equal_toasts on 2024-10-04 03:45:00+00:00.

Long time lurker, first time poster.

I (F33) live in a regional coastal town in Australia, and used to work in a great little family run cafe. Think great coffee, yum food, beautiful garden courtyard, and mostly wonderful customers.

One summer, during school hols, on a heaving Sunday morning, I was zooming around doing a quick dish run and started clearing some empty mugs from an older lady (60s) with her 2 young grandchildren. She had just received her breakfast and was adding condiments to her 2 pieces of toast.

She stopped me and said “I’m just looking at the menu and I can see that I paid the same price ($3) for each of these two pieces of toast, but … they aren’t exactly the same size”.

I look at her toast and they are both large, but one is approx. 10% smaller than the other, so I assume she’s just making convo and I smile, say “yeah”, continue grabbing items.

She stares at me and says again “they aren’t the same size, but I paid the same for each of them, that’s not really fair?”

I realise she’s serious and start telling her that this is because we use a local, handmade sourdough from a beautiful wood fired bakery baked literally just 7km away. The loaves are rustic not factory perfect. She’s not having a bar of what I’m saying, insisting she’s paid the same price and she wants two piece of toast the same size. This is when my incredulity ends and my petty steps in. Cue malicious compliance.

“Fine, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes”.

I take her toast into my boss (F33), tell her the story, and she’s like “say no more friend, I’ve got it”, proceeds to cuts two equal size slices of bread from the smaller end of a loaf, and toasts them perfectly.

I then have the pleasure of taking two pieces of obviously smaller toast to the lady, and say ‘here’s your two pieces of toast - the same size!’. The look of shock, turn anger, turn embarrassment on her face was absolutely delicious.

You want to behave like a toddler then you can eat like one too.