This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/feelingguiltyalt on 2023-08-05 19:37:03.

So my in-laws have let out months of built up tension out on my husband (34M) and I (28F). They claim we have not been present enough in the family which confuses me because they have been involved in everything Ive had for the baby since pregnancy (even having ALL 7 of them at my house 24 hrs after I delivered the baby so that they would feel included)

My BIL wedding that took place in another state on an island only accessible through jumper plane a month after I gave birth also on my birthday and also the weekend of my first my Mother’s Day. They were upset that my husband did not go. I told my husband to go but he decided to stay with me and my newborn

Mother’s Day. They were upset I did not attend lunch with them to celebrate my husbands mom. I, again, told my husband to go which he did and I went with my family and introduced the baby to my grandparents. We spent my first MD apart from each other but they are still upset that I did not go. My grandfather was recently diagnosed with tongue/mouth cancer and this was the Sunday before he started chemo/rad on the following day so I wanted him to be with the baby too. I’d like to add I saw her that following weekend to take her her gift!

Probably the most controversial that may make us the AH? A bridal shower for the SIL. This was happening at 10am when I had a 3wk old who slept in 10 minute increments all night. The bride told me not to worry about attending, she just wanted me to know I was invited. We also had plans late that evening (9pm) to attend a dinner for my husband’s best friend. My husband hadn’t seen his friends in 11 months so even though I really did not want to go because I was tired and self conscious about my body, we went. We left the baby with my in-laws that same night. Well during the argument my MIL says “you didn’t go to the bridal shower even though you’re new to the family and have to prove yourself a little bit but you had no problem leaving the baby and going to the bar” this is where we ended the conversation, got in our car, and left. And we have no plans to let them watch the baby again since it’ll be thrown in our faces later.

Father’s Day. We had plans to visit my grandfather because my husband hadn’t seen him at all since he started treatment. We asked my in-laws what their plans were but since they were traveling that day nothing definitive was made until the morning of. We left my grandparents a little late and it’s a long drive back home. We called them while they were out to lunch to see if we can still stop by but they were already seated and ordering so we said we’d bring dessert over afterward. Since they had just traveled they said they wanted to rest but they’d call when they were up. They never called. They said their feelings were so hurt that we didn’t attend lunch. I understand, but my husband didn’t want to spend FD apart from each other like we did for MD and my grandfather was not doing well so I needed my husband to be there for me.