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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sea_Flamingo2036 on 2023-08-05 23:46:12.

I am pregnant with my second child. I’m not due for a few more months, but I’m a planner and like to have everything decided ahead of time. I was talking to my husband about how I want to do things differently this go around. When we had our first kid, my doctor told me that if it was at all possible I needed to stay off my feet for the first couple weeks. I’m not sure if this is the standard or if it was because there were some issues with my placenta and I lost more blood than is considered to be the normal.

Everyone who came to meet the baby told me they would be more than willing to hold the baby so that I could get some housework done. I remember feeling so alone and trying to juggle keeping myself fed and bathed while my husband wasn’t home. There was a single visitor who showed up with groceries, washed my dishes, and made dinner. All before so much as glancing at the baby. I was so touched I cried.

This time we will have a toddler running around that I will also be having to care for. I want to request that visitors make themselves useful in at least a small way, rather than sitting on my couch for hours making harsh comments on the state of my house.

DH says that I’m being selfish and that while he doesn’t see that I need to play hostess, they will be coming to see the new baby, not to check up on me. I told him if these people genuinely don’t care about how I’m doing, I’m not sure I want them around first thing postpartum anyway. He told that was an AH outlook. Is he right? Am I just being selfish?

EDIT: As I’m getting many comments telling me to simply not invite people or not let them in I AM NOT THE ONE WHO INVITED THEM. My husband invited who he wanted without talking to me about it first. He is the one that called these people and let them into our home. And I am sure it will be the same this time also.