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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fresh_Rip_4274 on 2023-08-06 00:08:01.

Throwaway account- I’ve got a buddy who’s getting married and in lieu of wedding gifts, she’s asking for guests to contribute to her housing fund.

…but she owns a house. Both her and her husband have great jobs, she lived with her parents all during undergrad to save money to purchase a home, and her mom let it slip to me that her grandmother paid the down deposit (and then some) for the home.

She also asked for contributions to her housing fund for both engagement parties (the announcement and the regular one).

…and her fiancé and she are living with her parents currently, and are Airbnbing their home, and making a TON of money (again, her mom told me all this in frustration of the situation- my friend is not paying her mother rent or any of her bills while living with her parents).

I know asking for cash or a home fund was typically considered tacky, but this day and age, with the housing market the way it is, I get it. I’d be fine with it if she was saving up for a deposit.

But I’m not paying for someone’s mortgage? I rent myself and am saving up for a deposit. I know they’re asking for money for their house because own everything they need- no student loan debt, all new furniture and appliances, basically a new house. They don’t really need wedding gifts, I get that.

I’m considering donating what I would spend on them to a charity in their name, maybe to an animal shelter. Something to a housing service or for the unhoused might be too on the nose.

*Edit: not going to the wedding isn’t an option- I have family going, I would be missed. I already didn’t attend one of the engagement parties because they asked for contributions to their house in lieu of a gift, and I felt odd about it.