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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Tight-Negotiation432 on 2023-08-06 16:53:54.

Edit: I will make this clear she may not be my kid by blood but everything else she is my daughter and has been for about 10 years. Also Sabrina is engaged so noooooo she doesn’t want to get back with my son, and I don’t want them to either. Yes I have invited Bethany to do stuff with me, it’s always been a no.

If I am the asshole then I am the asshole and I am standing by it. I won’t disown Sabrina by disinviting her to family events, because that is actually I will be saying. I will be saying I don’t see her as family if I disinvite her to family events she has gone to for about 10 years. This is asking me to chose between two children, I will not disown one.

My son was dating Sabrina, they started in highschool and broke up when they were in college. It was a long relationship and I became really close to her. She is in my eyes our daughter. Her family are awful people and she sees us as her parental figures. She even is planning to have my husband walk her down the isle when she gets married.

Now when they broke up, relationship just died, we didn’t drop her since she is our kid at this point. My son wasn’t happy but moved on, so she gets invited to family events and has for years. My son now 27 is married to Bethany and she is a nice person. We never clicked, we don’t have much in common and they live 2 hours away so it’s hard to plan stuff to get to know her more. Really I’m sure it will grow in time.

Now we had a picnic and all the family members were invited. So Sabrina was there as normal and I thought the night was nice. Bethany come up to me at the end of the night and expressed that she is uncomfortable with her husband ex being everywhere and if I couldn’t invite her for family stuff. I told her no and that Sabrina is part of the family and has been part of the family longer than she has. If their is an actually valid reason like her rude then I would consider it but she has done nothing. She left and my son has called me and called me an asshole for picking her over my now real family.

AITA, my husband thinks she is crazy but I know we can be bias.