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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/Ok_Consequence8921 on 2024-10-17 14:13:21+00:00.
tldr: my wife is throwing a party with her parents who don’t like me and I don’t like back on Saturday. Then we are scheduled for a restaurant date on Sunday. Oh and she is inviting her friends on Thursday. I can really escape either since the house is small and her nosy family and friendly will find me.
I love my wife, she has done so much for me and I owe her so much. However her birthdays always get crazy. she invites her family who do not care much for her and regularly take advantage of her every year. she only sees them couple times a year but every time i have to meet them I feel anxious, miserable and agitated. It also always ends up with an argument between my wife and I once they leave. her parents are party freaks and might I even suggest a tad uneducated and clueless. They’re also extremely tone deaf. Seriously they thought the capital city of US is New York until very recently and have no idea what’s going on globally since they have never watched the news. When covid happened in 2020 her parents travelled to Asia and brought back covid as souvenirs for us which to this day I believe was the cause of my CFS since there was no vaccination yet. They don’t think covid is a real threat and think it’s just a cold or flu virus.
Also since I became ill they never helped my wife or myself in any way. They never helped us with the wedding, and on my wedding day they left immediately after dinner and so only stayed for an hour or two which was so disrespectful to me and my family. My family has been helping us financially, with food and any help I need with my appointments since my wife has a busy job. But her family do not talk to us and expect us to respect them. I have gotten in trouble with my wife for couple of times not respecting her family and leaving when they started saying things like “you’re not actually sick, it’s just all in your head, just take a vacation”. Unfortunately I can’t get my wife to understand my situation with her parents, and while she admits they’re not good for her, she continues to give them the outmost respect. when I try to discuss this with her she ends up crying a LOT and blaming me for disrespecting her parents. She wants me to be very polite and nice to them which is hard because I genuinely despise her parents. Now for this weekend she has invited them over on Saturday. Originally I had plans to go to her favourite restaurant on Sunday as a birthday tradition (i can go out once or twice a month for a short time). Now I have to survive her loud parents on Saturday and then take her out on Sunday. I’m dreading this weekend and hope I can survive the PEM combined with my October plummet. I also feel bad for always dreading her birthdays.