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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fun-Two-7245 on 2023-08-06 18:42:55.

Hi all.

On Friday it was my cousins kids birthday and we had the party at a local lake.

My daughter is four and can not swim. I also can’t swim and my husband (who can swim) was not present. I explained water safety to my kid, she had a life jacket on, all that jazz.

I also have a toddler, however, and had to nurse him for a nap. I left my cousin in charge of my daughter while I left to feed my son. My daughter hadn’t been into the water at all and I thought she was fine. She was not.

I still don’t really know what happened - one second everything was fine, and the next everyone was screaming. I got down to the lakes edge just as my brother in law was pulling my daughter from the lake. Her life jacket had been removed.

She coughed up some water and he did some water vomit trick which led to her clearing out. After he was sure she was fine he walked her over to me and said, verbatim, “Shitty parents lead to dead kids. Get your head out of your ass and teach her how to swim.”

I didn’t really have much of a response, just packed up my kids and drove her to the ER. She’s completely fine, just a little shaken up, and very afraid of water.

Anyway, my sister text me and told me I ought to thank him for saving her life. I didn’t respond initially because we were still in the ER, which led to her calling me an ungrateful bitch. Again, I ignored, because my daughter needed me, but last night everything came to a head.

My BIL dmed me asking if I would have rather she drowned. Following that I have recieved message after message. I tried to explain that I’ve been busy but my sister said not to contact them unless its to thank him and apologise.

I will probably thank him just to keep the peace, but I think they’re out of line. There was no need for his comment & their following behaviour.

My husband thinks I should go no contact but he’s never liked them so I’m hesitant to listen. My dad agrees with hub, however.

So, AITA for not thanking him (yet)?