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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Mysterious-Gene-5079 on 2023-08-07 03:46:00.


I (f26) am engaged to my fiancé (m31) let’s call him D and our wedding is in 3 months. Our relationship was long distance for a year until he proposed 3 months ago and I just made the move to his country. As we were long distance I didn’t get the chance to meet most of his family yet so D had the idea for us all to spend a weekend together at his family’s lake house. The 1st day was great, we had dinner, drank wine, talked and they all seemed to like me and accept me into the family.

Later that night D and I were doing you know what but keeping quiet because we didn’t want to disturb anyone. I remember thinking I heard a noise outside the room and we stopped for a minute and didn’t hear anything else so we continued, finished, took a shower together and then it was lights out.

The problem came the next morning when my future FIL came up to me. After some small talk he said “Well, tonight when you and D are messing around try and keep it down”. I apologised profusely for disturbing him and then he said “No don’t apologise, it’s natural. I’d be doing the same if I had woman like you in my bed. I’m just jealous. Not every man has a woman willing to wear his initials so proudly

That last line let me know he had to have been watching us. D and I had gotten each others initials tattooed one night when we were drunk and mine was on my ass. It clicked for me then that when I had heard a noise the night before, I was on top facing away from the door and my tattoo would have been in full view. I felt sick and went to the bathroom to call my best friend. She said that D might have told her about the tattoos and not to jump to conclusions.

Later that night I asked D if he had told anyone about our tattoos and he said no, why? I burst into tears in front of him. He asked me what was wrong and I told him what his Dad had said to me. He told me to stay in our room and he was gone for about 30 mins. When he came back he told me to pack my bag and that we were leaving. I asked what happened and he wouldn’t answer me

On the drive home D told me he confronted his father who insisted he didn’t watch us but MIL had cameras. Apparently FIL could be seen walking down the hallway to our room and walking back 7 minutes later with his pants undone. I felt sick. As far as I know FIL has been kicked out of the house.

My relationship with D is strained, we aren’t really talking. I am worried I have ruined my relationships with my in-laws. My best friend and my sister both said I shouldn’t have said anything and that a 20+ year marriage is ending because of me? I also told them about how my relationship with D now feels strained and they have told me to prepare myself to move back home because they don’t think he’ll go through with the wedding now. I think I did the right thing but I am so worried about what the future is going to look like for us all now. AITA?