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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/jadewrists on 2023-08-07 07:05:10.

For the past three years, I’ve (31F) have had this little tradition of treating my four best girlfriends on a little weekend getaway just to show my appreciation for them.

The problem friend is “Lauren”. Lauren and I have been best friends since college and have stayed close despite past issues. I think she is a flawed person, but I knew that a lot of it came from self-esteem issues and growing up low-income so I tended to forgive her easily. In college, she struggled a lot with the idea that I was “better” than her and took out her insecurities on me. We no longer live in the same state, so I see her a lot less.

Lauren couldn’t come the first year, but she was very excited for last year’s. I flew her out Hawaii. Things were going well at first, but then she became much more snappy and angry with me, for presumably no reason. Throughout the weekend, she made multiple snide remarks about how much money I was spending on the trip and how it showed how privileged I am. She told me that I’m the 1% and then followed it up with “Fuck the rich, am I right?”. She refused to come eat with us at this nice restaurant because she couldn’t afford it, but I had told her multiple times before that I was covering the whole thing. Lauren still refused and tried to sway the other girls into coming to a burger joint with her. We all refused and she started crying and stormed back to the hotel. It made the rest of the dinner/night very awkward for the rest of us. Lauren ended up apologizing the next morning to all of us, but it was very half-assed. Then she “felt sick” the next day and stayed back to call her boyfriend for the entire day. I’m not going to lie, she ruined a large part of the trip.

Although I was upset after the trip, I reached out to her in a long text and apologized for anything I did to hurt or offend her. She left me on read for four days before responding that she was “sorry that she was emotional.” That was it. We still stayed in touch semi-regularly, but haven’t seen each other since.

So for this year’s getaway, I chose not to invite her due to her 1) causing drama last time 2) being ungrateful 3) causing the rest of us stress. Lauren heard from one of our mutual friends that she was left out and completely flipped out on me over text, saying I betrayed her, that I was a horrible friend for excluding her, and how hurt she was. I apologized to her, but stated my reasons above and I thought that she would understand, but nope. We called and she claimed that I was gentrifying my social circle and that I had shown my true colors, so on, and that she always knew I valued wealth over friendship. None of that is true and I was deeply hurt by her words. I told her my decision was final and that was that. Except she had her partner reach out to MY husband to shit talk me for being a horrible person.

Even though I think, rationally, I am right, I can’t help but feel upset and guilty about this whole thing. AITA?