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The original was posted on /r/transmedical by /u/Whole-Regret2346 on 2024-10-30 14:34:05+00:00.

I hate that I was born in the wrong body. I hate being trans especially because of society today. What fucked up during the development process in the womb to pop me out as female? I don’t know why I am the way I am and it doesn’t help when my transphobic mom always brings gender up in every fucking convo and asks me why do I HAVE to be like this? I’m not doing this out of a choice?! I don’t freaking know and I can’t explain it. Just nothing is right. Stop pressing for a solid answer. I will be honest, sometimes I’m happy I don’t have a schlong to worry about but peeing standing up really is convenient. I have come to be content with a vulva but what’s up in there, I’m not and never will be. I’ve been begging to get rid of it since I even found out about it as a kid. And being an adult now, it’s now valid, right? I hate my feminine curves, especially the hips. If only I can shave off a bit on the sides, I think that’d be so much better. I hate my voice. I hate that I don’t look masculine because I look squishy. No amount of exercise and diet has at least helped with it. I still have really thick legs. I fortunately have gotten top surgery but I still don’t feel complete. HRT was my last step and probably would finally make me feel better in my body but I was denied it. Being trans prevents me from doing things I want to do. The moment I speak, everyone thinks I’m a girl. It’s gotten worse, I used to pass fine, people thought I was a guy, but idk what happened. I guess fate got tired. I’m paranoid people have gotten suspicious of me, like my current friends, despite me trying to dismiss it as a hormone deficiency/imbalance thing