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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No_Conclusion5727 on 2023-08-07 16:39:52.

I (43) F and my husband (40) M have been together for 8.5 years, married for a little over 2 years. We have a blended family but no kids together.

Over the years, he makes plans without consideration of our kid schedule. So I end up with them while he is out of town. Now this has evolved into daily occurrences. He will go golfing, go to lunch with friends, etc. This turns into all day events so I end up with kid duty.

I work from home so he takes advantage of this. My job is very demanding though. I wake every day at 5am and start work by 6am. I am glued to my computer and phone all day dealing with 100’s of customers, large money transactions and contracts. There is no room for error.

His job is VERY flexible (self-employed). He usually sleeps until 9am-10am and starts work at 11am-12pm on the days he works. He is capable to take his daughter to work or do school duties but doesn’t because he CHOOSES to sleep in every day.

My daughter is now less demanding of my time because of her age. His daughter still requires a lot of care. I don’t mind except I feel like I’m just being used. I wake her for school, get her ready, make her lunch, take her to and from school, etc. I don’t feel I should have to be doing everything while he is sleeping in. I also do the laundry, clean the house, do the grocery shopping, make dinner (he helps sometimes). I take care of him, the kids and the household duties while working a more than full-time job while he contributes minimally.

I asked him this summer if he could take his daughter to work with him since he’s able and it would be nice for him to spend time with her. My reason, I have many meetings and important calls daily and though she’s a good kid, she usually needs something while I’m on the phone. He hasn’t.

This past weekend was a family members birthday that was going to be an overnight guys golf trip. I asked him if we were supposed to have his daughter and for two weeks he told me he didn’t know. I told him since he was going to be gone that if we were, to ask her mother to keep her until he returned. If we didn’t have every day occurrences, I would not mind having her. My reason is I’m tired of feeling like I am bailing him out of his responsibilities and tired of him not even asking me if it’s ok, he just expects it.

Truth came out that he knew the whole time we were supposed to have her but he played stupid. I asked again (nicely) if her mother could keep her then he snapped saying “Fine! Since I know YOU don’t want her!”. That hurt my feelings but I tried to explain why and he didn’t want to hear it. He just kept yelling at me and making me out to be the bad person. He then asked his sister to keep her and threw me under the bus.

There’s more context but not enough character space. So, AITA for refusing to keep his daughter so he could go on an overnight guys trip?