This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/AffectionateArm4268 on 2024-11-02 03:01:26+00:00.

It wasn’t surprising that the Galactic Council decided to eliminate at least the main species on Earth.

 When they had discovered Earth, their probe’s deep planetary scans showed it had a wealth of minerals that the Galactic Council’s forces needed. At any other time, the Galactic Council, a multi-species assembly, would have had no qualms about bombarding the planet’s surface to wipe out at least the main species on Earth – humanity – as well as any other species, plant and animal, as collateral damage. At this time, however, the Galactic Council had just barely won a war against a hive mind horde that had wiped out eighty percent of the Council’s member species, so it would take them a long time – at least three of Earth’s centuries – to fully rebuild their armed forces and empire.

 Even when the war had been at its height, the Galactic Council had sent out unmanned probes to various planets to find substances, such as minerals and chemicals, that the Galactic Council needed. As it was, one of these probes had passed by Earth, its presence invisible to the humans, and its deep planetary scans had detected the presence of such needed minerals, like neodymium and praseodymium, were present in economically viable quantities.

 Because an out-and-out elimination strike was ruled out, the Galactic Council had decided to use alternative methods. In preparation for this, they decided to find out all they could about the many species on Earth, particularly the humans; and this was why they had deployed a forward research station in the human solar system. They chose to deploy the research station in orbit around Jupiter, the system’s sun a bright star from that distance, and from there they could conduct more detailed research on Earth. Such research might have included observing the local flora and fauna, but it also involved monitoring any electromagnetic signals coming from that planet.

 Commander Var’kin, a crustacean-like alien whose race was known for its ruthless efficiency as well as for its penchant for decoding signals, was glad when the forward research station finally came online. He looked around him, at his team members, as he readied for work. He had hand-picked his team, and while his team members came from different races, they all had one commonality: they were the best in their respective fields when it came to electronic signals intelligence.

 “All right, everyone,” Commander Var’kin said. “As you know, this station will start conducting experiments within the next [thirty to forty Earth days], so until then, we’re the only ones who’ll be monitoring the planet that the main species call ‘Dirt.’ This means we’ll have full run of this station’s resources until they arrive, so we should make the most of it.” He gave his species’ version of a human grin as everyone acknowledged his words, after which he clacked his pincers. “Okay, everyone, let’s get to work. Begin analysis of Earth’s transmissions.”

 Within [minutes], a wealth of electromagnetic transmissions came in, all from Earth. These transmissions were both radio and visual in nature, so many that these would have been so thoroughly confusing and chaotic in nature had these been analyzed individually; but the Galactic Council used AI to compress these into what the AI was programmed to create representative samples, based on the probability codes imbedded in the AI.

 “We have an initial sample, sir,” one of the team members called out.

 “That was fast,” Commander Var’kin remarked.

 “Yes, sir.”

 “Good work.  Put it on the main screen.”

 For a moment, the main screen appeared black, but an initial image then appeared, one of a human with an odd hair style. This wasn’t the first time the aliens had seen a human, as they had all reviewed as much of the information their probe to Earth had gathered, so they were able to identify the somewhat strange movements the human male were performing as part of a sort of dance.

 One of Commander Var’kin’s secondary legs tapped on his console absently. “Is this visual only?” he asked. “It appears that there is likely some audio attached to it.”

 “I think there is, sir,” another team member replied. “Sorry, sir, we’re getting a lot of emissions. Let me process it further, sir, just a moment.”

 Commander Var’kin clacked his claws in understanding, even as the main screen went blank; such things were known to happen, and Commander Var’kin, himself, had experienced such in the past.

 It was a few more [minutes] before the team member then spoke up: “We have audio to the visual, sir, it’s now synchronized. Playing.”

 Commander Var’kin then looked at the main screen, and when the image showed, the synchronized audio began playing. The probe that had done the initial investigation had been thorough, as it had stayed on station, undetected, for [two and a half Earth years], so it had also gathered information on the main languages of the humans; and this was why the AI was able to translate what the audio belted out.

 Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. . . .

 The tune was actually catchy, and Commander Var’kin found himself tapping his console absently in time with the beat. “Well, that was an experience,” Commander Var’kin said once the recording was done.

 “Sir, I have another sample ready,” another member of the team said.

 “Good,” Commander Var’kin said. “Show it.” And he then frowned as he saw what came up.

 Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down. . . .

 “Are all the samples like this?” Commander Var’kin asked, even before the thing ended.

 “They shouldn’t be, sir,” another team member said, confused.

 “Is there any way to filter it out?”

 “We’ll try, sir.”

 After [71 Earth hours], Commander Var’kin felt his sanity hanging by a thin thread. They had gotten some information, sure, from sources on Earth, such as their so-called “news,” but they had also seen the strange audio-video signal a total of a three hundred twenty-three times, with the signal sometimes interrupting the other signals they had been trying to read. Commander Var’kin had, by then, called in some of the station’s programmers in an attempt to get the AI program to screen out the “Rikk Ash-lee” signal, but they reported that, for whatever reason, doing so might cause the AI to screen out most of the signals that they needed to analyze, so Commander Var’kin had reluctantly agreed to let the AI run as it was.

 It was in the middle of the three hundred twenty-fourth time that the damned signal played on the screen that Commander Var’kin looked around at his teammates. Those that needed to sleep had rested, but the body language of those who had just reported in even after a good rest period showed that they were reluctant to go on duty. Commander Var’kin himself wasn’t feeling too good, and he wished his species couldn’t stay up for [83 Earth hours] at a time, as he had been on station since the start.

 “By the Council,” Commander Var’kin grumbled as the three hundred twenty-fourth time the signal ended, “those humans deserve to be wiped out.” And when, a [few minutes] later, the signal played for the three hundred twenty-fifth time, even as he felt his sanity begin slipping for the final time, Commander Var’kin hoped desperately that the incoming experimental researchers would find a way to eliminate the damned humans.