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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/Kayslay8911 on 2024-11-02 11:41:33+00:00.

Lately I haven’t been wearing my glasses because one of my kids sat of them and now they don’t stay on my face and I guess I’ve gotten used to not seeing very clearly because when I left for the bar I didn’t even consider putting on my contacts. My husband and his friend were set to meet me and my friends at the bar later on since I went for happy hour.

It’s gotten late, it’s dark out, and we’re in the outdoor area, the lights at night always mess with me because I have a severe astigmatism so everything is looking a bit cartoonish between my blindness and the cocktails. I notice my husband alone in a corner sitting on his phone, I KNOW it’s him because he’s wearing thick black glasses and the khaki Nike high tops I bought him a year ago, and he has a short haircut and beard, clearly that man is my husband.

So I wanted to play a little and I started dancing like an absolute little slut, FOR MY HUSBAND. My dress is short and flowy so a little hip dip would swish it and you could totally see my butt when I did. My friends were loving it, thinking I was just dancing for myself, and I can see my husband is laser focused on me, that is until I feel a hand on me, up my dress! I freaked out and was ready to deck someone over the ass grab, only to find my actual husband, sans khaki high tops, greeting me. I’m so confused by the sorcery he performed until I realized that the man I was dancing for was not my husband, and I am, in fact, an idiot. Everyone had a good laugh at my expense though, that was fun…

Later on in the night, my not-husband tried to talk to me and said I was “an incredible dancer,” so I’ll be moving in to the woods and living as a hermit to escape my vast and eternal mortification.

TL;DR: I danced for the wrong man because he vaguely resembled my husband and I am blind.