This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/hfy by /u/TRMerc on 2024-11-04 00:52:24+00:00.

Humans will Breed with Anything

Hisakak walked down the street with what was, to his people, a big smile on his face. Living on a human world wasn’t easy for the reptilian alien, but he managed to make things work out pretty well. One of those things that helped was meeting a fellow alien on this world of small pink soft creatures. An arachnoid who, like Hisaka, found herself at home on this world that was vastly different from either of their home worlds.

Riliah was sipping her coffee when she noticed Hisakak coming and couldn’t help but give her own people’s version of a smile. “Looks like someone is in a good mood. I haven’t seen you in two weeks. Where have you been.”

Hisakak sat down, ordering his usual, an expresso with Sharakin. He found the plant from his home world gave this expresso a naturally sweet flavor compared to human sugar. Hisakak let his friend stew in anticipation for a little before answering, “Well, you know that I have been dating Shanna for a while now and well. While on a trip, We decided to elope. In Human culture, that is where a couple gets married.”

Riliah interrupted, “I know what elope means, and I’m quite familiar with human marriage customs. As you know, I’m already married to one. How could you not tell me until now?” The arachnoid looked visibly upset, and anyone who wasn’t familiar with their body language could easily have assumed that she was about to bite Hisakak’s head off, and she was about to, metaphorically.

Hisakak “Well, I would have but. I was so caught up in… things… that time got away from us.” He took a sip of his drink with a smirk. Riliah’s twelve eyes went wide before a few narrowed in confusion. Her large chitin body moved as if unsure how to proceed, and her chelicerae kept opening and closing as she was about to speak. “What is it?” Hisakak said to draw the words out of his arachnid friend.

Finally, the words got her to speak what she was struggling with “I thought you were against having young.” The statement made Hisakak spit his drink out and start choking causing quite a disturbance as he fought to gain his composure. The statement wasn’t one he was expecting, and was finally about to get out a word out “What?”

“Well, I’m assuming by busy and lost track of time you and Shan… your wife were… doing the deed.” Getting a nod from the now blushing reptilian, “I guess you were just using protection then.”

Hisakak’s eyes went wide. “Why would I need protection? Shanna couldn’t hurt me, and we were in a very safe resort. I haven’t felt in danger since I came to this world. One of the reasons I decided to leave my people’s empire was that I was tired of all the hostility and fighting. Also, I haven’t let my wife know about my feelings towards young as we don’t have to worry about such things.” The naive and innocent thought brought some happiness to Riliah, as her friend reminded her of her husband when they first were dating.

“Oh, my dear Hisakak, don’t you know. Humans breed with anything.” She took another sip of her coffee as Hisakak looked at her confused with a straight face and just slowly nodded in agreement, but clearly not understanding her statement, “I’m not saying they attempt to… I’m saying they… do.”

Hisakak took a moment to process what was just said, and his eyes widened. “You can’t be serious. I mean, I’m a reptilian, and she is a mammal. Two comple.” He was interrupted by a shake of Riliah’s head, saying he was wrong. “I mean, you and Frank adopted your.” And again, was interrupted by a shake of Riliah’s head. “You mean your kids are.” Getting a nod.

Riliah put her drink down slowly and took Hisakak’s hand. “I didn’t think it was possible at first either, but I’ve come to find that humans are… more capable than I thought at first. I mean, it wasn’t the first time, but when it did happen, I did a little research, and, well, I shouldn’t have been as surprised as I was.”

The reptilian jaw moved up and down without words coming out, almost looking like he was a speaking animatronic more than a living, breathing being. “That is just… I mean… How?”

Riliah shrugged with all three of her legs. For her people, one set shrugging meant they didn’t know but had an idea, two shrugging meant they didn’t know, didn’t have an idea, but might know someone who does, and all three meant she didn’t think anything in this universe had a clue about it “You know the Arvarians, the so-called angle race.”

Hisakak nods, “Yes, they are human-looking, with feathery wings and patches of scales on their lim… no… they couldn’t… there are billions of them.”

Riliah nods. “Yes, apparently, their whole race was born out of a world that humans and Calvarians settled at the same time. Sure, there was fighting at first, but after a few centuries of peace, well… a few centuries later and.” She made a poof motion that humans often did with her forelegs. Riliah sat there, if humans could breed with an avian race “Surel.” He was cut off again with a hand.

“You know the silicone base race, the Zurmondans.” Hisakak nods. “Well, apparently, a scientist who was working with one of them grew close and, both being researchers, wanted to find out if coupling was even possible. They said nine months after finding an enjoyable method for both.”

Riliah laughs, “Oh, now you’re pulling my leg.” This is a human phrase that he learned until Riliah pulled up articles and a research paper on the subject on her datapad to show him, “That isn’t… the Zurmondans don’t even have reproductive parts; they just… H.” While he was bewildered, Riliah decided to add some more confusion.

“I’m also sure you’re aware of the Hubrians. The cybernetic race of humans.” Hisakak’s face made it clear he wasn’t ready for it. “Apparently, a human and a Dwarcylic had developed a connection, and when he taught the Dwarcylic about human reproduction, a bit of his DNA got inside the mechanical body, and the nanites inside started to replicate it based on the DNA information inside his." Riliah coughed a little. "Anyway, adding some cybernetics components when there was… incomplete data. I’m not entirely sure how it works myself, but suffice it to say their example started a craze with humans finding partners among the mechanical race that led to the birth of another entirely new species… I believe that brought it up to thirty hybrid species?” taking a sip of her drink as she contemplated the numbers.

There was silence for a while before Hisakak was able to look up from the datapad. He saw a look that sent a chill down his spine. An arachnid smirk that was saved for times when Riliah was sure she would be laughing about something for weeks. Slowly, Riliah turned in the direction Rhiliah was looking in, but what Hisakak saw put a smile on his face. Shanna was approaching them. Her smile brought warmth to his heart, though she seemed to be pointing to something small in her hand as she approached, something that looked like a small stick. Then his smile quickly faded as he heard from behind him, “Don’t worry, Frank and I saved some of the essentials from before our little ones could take care of themselves.”