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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Quiet_Ninja9866 on 2023-08-08 15:20:04.

I have been married to my wife for two years and the best way to describe my mother is cold, she nots rude or anything it’s just disinterested in my wife.

The best way I can explain my mom is that she is tired. She had a really hard life, doesn’t have much affection left to give and she rarely gets close to anyone. It’s pure disinterest and she can’t bring herself to care about new people. She’s a retired old lady that just want to sit on the porch not make small talk with people. I’ve explained this to my wife before and told my mothers story.

We had a little get together at my moms house. My mom doesn’t like it when people bring food, she works all day to make a spread and it’s like her thing. She just wants to provide for the guests. My wife came from work and she brought food, potatoes salad. I stop her from bringing it in, the whole night she is just bothering her when she was on the porch. Asking her if she wants to go on a shopping trip, when my mom asks for some quiet she still talks on. When I was walking by she asked me to take my wife away from her. This made my wife upset but I did it since I could see mom was getting close to the end of her rope.

We had a talk in the care what that was all about, and she just wants to be loved by her MIL. She is being nice so she doesn’t get why she doesn’t like her. I told her my mother will never love her and to just stop. What she is doing is actively making her dislike you and to leave the women alone. She called me a jerk and hasn’t spoken to me since.

Edit was told to include this comment, from an info comment

Almost never, most of the time if people join her on the porch it’s very littler small talk or just join her watching the garden. She doesn’t care how loud they are in the house or anything like that. She likes watching others have a good time, more of an observer than anything

She asked for quiet with my wife since she was just going on for a while. My sister was out there and told me mom tried politer ways to ask for her to be quiet and it didn’t work. Also the direct request didn’t work with my wife and she kept going.