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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Stupendous-Tea-5927 on 2023-08-08 18:21:16.

My husband and I, and his parents, live on their farm. We renovated it to make it a hobby farm again. There are three pastures: two my husband uses and the third we were repairing to use it. My ILs were aware of this.

During our repairs, one of the neighbors asked my ILs about renting out the pasture because they had too many heads for the land they already had. My ILs agreed because it was the “right” thing to do according to their faith and it’d generate a bit more income for them before they moved. My husband and I weren’t happy about it but stuck a pin in our plans to see how things played out until the end of the lease to see if something could be worked out to accommodate everyone.

We’re now 3 months into this arrangement and it’s been a nightmare. The path to the pasture goes right by our house since it’s close to it. They have complained about my smoking the good stuff on my porch no matter what time I go out to smoke. They complain that I play music they don’t want their kids to hear. They complain that we use our firepit which is about 50 yards from the pasture. I reached the end of my patience yesterday: When I’m getting ready in the mornings or after a shower I walk around our house nude. My ILs house isn’t anywhere in sight and we’re tucked off our road going through the farm so our curtains are always open. If I see the renter’s truck going over before I shower I either close the curtains or just get dressed. No one was at the pasture yesterday when I took my shower and I didn’t see the truck after so I just walked around the house for a while. After about 25 minutes there was a knock at the door.

It was the neighbors. They complained that I needed to be more considerate and ‘act decent’ by putting clothes on because I should be well aware by now they bring their kids with them to take care of the cattle, and they don’t want their kids seeing that. Then they started about how they’re paying good money to use the pasture and paid out of pocket to make it usable. I stopped them there and told them they didn’t do all the work to make it usable, it was already halfway done because of my husband and me. I also told them, paraphrasing here, “You don’t own the farm, you’re only renting one pasture so you’ve got no right to tell me what to do in and around my own house. Don’t want to accidentally see something? Stop looking at our windows. If you want any chance of having your lease renewed after my husband takes over, you should stop acting so self-important, act like the people of faith you claim to be, and be nicer to me.”

They told my ILs about it who took it to my husband. He’s fine with what I said as he’s had his own issues with them, but we’re wondering if we should apologize to ILs and the neighbors to keep the peace if I handled it wrong. We’d like some outsider views, so AITA?

Additional info: We are not waiting for my ILs to die, nor is it a matter of ‘if’ he inherits but ‘when’. Early inheriting is a thing that reduces the inheritance tax here and makes the transfer go more smoothly. They’ve already started the process for turning the farm over to my husband’s ownership so that when they move in with BIL in 1-2 years its already done or at the very least, close to completion.