This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Button-48 on 2023-08-08 19:02:55.

---

I F(25) have been with my boyfriend (27) for 3 years. He sold his car 2 months ago and is currently saving for a new one - or so I thought. We live in the Caribbean.

Last night he came over and asked me what I thought about him using his car money to start a car wash. I told him that he can use the space he has at home to open a car wash and he doesn’t necessarily need to use all his money to open a business as simple as that.

He said the vision he has is to also include auto detailing and that he would use the money to purchase equipment for it.

I told him that I don’t think it’s a good idea - but I’ll support him if he decides to do it.

He then said that he’s happy I’m on his side because he wants us to do something together.

I thought he meant me helping with his business - but no. He explained that his idea of “together” is me taking out a loan for a car that will be on MY NAME but he will drive it because I don’t drive.

When I asked who will be making the payments, he said the bank will take the money out of my account every month and he will pay half.

I told him that I am absolutely NOT paying half for a car I am not driving. He said it would be “our” car and that when I eventually get my license, I’ll be able to drive it too.

I said that this entire scenario makes no sense as I have no intention of driving anytime soon - and literally anything can happen.

I asked if we break up, what then?

He said even if we break up, he will continue paying for his share of the share so I won’t bare that payment. When I asked why he can’t just pay for the full payment he said he plans to leave his job and do his car wash / detailing business full time so he won’t be able to cover the full payment until his business takes off.

I told him that I’m sorry but I can’t take out a loan for him - nor put a car in my name when he is so unstable. He called me a “selfish AH” - one he “can’t see a future with” and left. Now, he won’t speak to me. My mom says I’m in the right but now I feel bad because if I don’t take out the loan, he won’t be able to. AITA?

UPDATE Hi guys, thank you so much for giving your opinions, stories, advice - everything! I truly appreciate it and it helped make my decision a lot easier.

So, he called me earlier and broke up with me on the basis of “partners are supposed to share everything” and he can’t trust me to “hold him down when he’s down.” After an ear full about how I “think I’m better than him because of my job,” how I “look down on him,” and how I “don’t want to see him be successful,” I called his mom (we’re very close) and let her know that we broke up and why we broke up.

She was very upset to say the least - but reassured me that I made the right decision. She said that she told him not to sell the car but he went ahead and did it anyway.

After we spoke, she wished me well and I went to get something to eat. I guess she told him something about it because he texted me shortly after. I’m just going to copy and paste what he said:

TEXT CONVO

Him: How childish do you have to be to call my mom?

Me: I wanted her to know that we broke up and why.

Him: Just say you wanted to manipulate her and make her believe I’m trying to leech off of you. WHAT HAVE YOU EVER FONE FOR ME? TELL ME

Him: You know what’s sad? You were supposed to be the person I could come to for ANYTING. I had my own car something YOU NEVER HAD and I sold it because it was getting to expensive and I wanted something more efficient. YOU KNOW THAT so I don’t know why you trying to fuck up what my family thinks about me and make me look like I BEGGING you for car.

Him: SMH you are the biggest asshole and the most selfish person I ever met

Him: Why couldn’t you just be happy for me? Why couldn’t you just believe in my dreams? You really think I would leave you after you got a car for me? You have no common sense and that’s why people will USE you. You to dumb for an educated woman and that’s why we broke up. Go tell her that

END OF TEXT CONVO

Yeah… lol. I didn’t respond to any of those messages. But I did get a massive headache immediately after reading them.

Anyway, thanks a lot for all your help guys! I really really appreciate it!