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The original was posted on /r/honkaistarrail by /u/ThatAdagio72 on 2024-11-14 21:50:51+00:00.

It all began last year. On April 26, 2023, Honkai Star Rail launched, marking my very first gacha game. In my class, I met someone who was also drawn into it. He seemed like an ordinary person, stylish haircut, easygoing, kind, and thoughtful. He was my first love. To keep things anonymous, I’ll call him…X.

He was a Yanqing main, a proud one, at that. Sometimes, it felt like he’d rather spend time with Yanqing than with me. Back then, I didn’t mind. He genuinely believed that one day, his young Xianzhou lieutenant would rise to the top, that Yanqing would be ranked SSS on the Prydwen tier list, unstoppable. But sadly, that day never came.

He hoped that, one day, everyone he’d argued with online would realize how wrong they’d been about Yanqing and finally apologize to his…husbando… Maybe he saw himself as Yanqing’s messiah, a loyal main who’d never abandon his beloved character, no matter how the rankings were.

When we played together, he’d call out :

-          “Hey, come here! Look at my Yanqing, did you see that? One million damage! Isn’t that insane?”

I’d look into his bright blue eyes, his perfect nose, his soft cheeks, and his messy hair, and just nod silently. I didn’t want to ruin his night by mentioning he was using the strongest support, Robin and Ruan Mei without giving them credit. I didn’t tell him he was in Simulated Universe, where Acheron could deal ten times the damage. No, he was happy and that made me happy, too.

At first, I wasn’t into the meta. I was just there for the story. But over time, little by little, I started getting interested in theorycrafting, tier lists, and all that. I even started theorycrafting myself. There’s something exciting about it, and the community is incredibly wholesome. I’d like to thank everyone who helped me in the beginning.

X, on the other hand, couldn’t stand it. He hated those “math nerds.” Every time he checked the Discord, he’d get annoyed, calling all tier lists nonsense. One Friday, he spent the entire night arguing on Reddit, got frustrated, and even started crying. I offered to comfort him, but he immediately shut me down. The debate was over who the strongest 5-star standard character was, and clearly, the answer wasn’t what he wanted to hear.

I tried everything to keep our relationship going. I’d reassure him, texting things like, “Honey, you know that waifu/husbando > meta.” But it was never enough. X grew more and more bitter. With every new release, he’d hope for a support character who could finally make Yanqing shine like he deserved, but it never happened. Over time, he began to show signs of frustration that almost looked like sickness, even having intense reactions whenever someone mentioned that Yanqing was awfull to play.

Eventually, we started drifting apart. I couldn’t bear watching him suffer, but I knew I wasn’t the one who could help him heal. One night, I called him and said :

-          “That’s it. You and me, it’s over.” It was blunt, but I couldn’t take it anymore.

He didn’t react, he’d known all along that I was getting more and more into the meta. Just before I left, he muttered, with a voice filled with resentment, “Metaslave.” That was the last word I ever heard from him.

After that, I decided to focus on my studies. Honestly, I didn’t have much time for Honkai Star Rail*.* Thankfully, the dailies are quick, that’s probably the only reason I kept playing, even though I still loved the lore and characters. I started working at L’Amour, a fancy restaurant in the city center. With school, work, friends and family, my free time was limited.

One day, while chatting on Discord, I met someone named HSREnjoyer, you know, with that classic CHAD profile icon. We’d been talking for a while and found out we lived nearby, so we decided to meet up to get to know each other. I brought a friend along, waiting in her car, just to be safe.

The bar was an Irish pub, warmly lit and lively, with dark wood, rustic decor, and the clinking sounds of laughter and pints. The crowd was cheerful, a comforting surprise that set the tone for a great evening. Our conversation was flowing easily.

After we’d chatted for a while, I finally asked him :

-          “So, why HSREnjoyer’?”

He told me he loved the game. When I asked about his favorite character, he answered :

• “Stelle, physical Stelle.” Pretty based, I thought, tho, not her strongest form. Then I asked him what team he played with, and he said,

• “I’m an OG, you know, Dan Heng, March 7th, Stelle and Asta.”

-“Imbibitor Lunae Dan Heng”?

-“No classic.”

• “Hmm what are your Trailblazer lv? “

• “Currently, 5.”

• “5?!?!?”

• “5.”

• “God, How are you still 5?”

 With a sly, almost mischievous smile, like someone savoring a private joke, he said :

-          “I’m a reroller. I kept rerolling until I got the perfect account.”

He’d been rerolling since the game’s release, trying to pull every 5-star character and their Light Cone with a single roll, every single time”.

Then, he pulled out five phones from his pocket. I couldn’t recall the brands, but I remember there were no contacts or apps on them, just that game, Honkai Star Rail*.* He powered up each one, and soon the phones began to heat the table, their hum blending into a steady, almost purring sound.

-          “Would you be a deer, and reroll with me tonight?”

I couldn’t help but wonder why I couldn’t meet a meta person for once. I told him I needed to go to the restroom. Miraculously, the restroom had a window just big enough for me to escape this nightmare. Without a second thought, after a quick stretch, I climbed over the wall and sprinted to my friend’s car. As I glanced back, I could still hear him shouting, eyes fixed on his phones: “YES, FIRST DRAW, BABE!” followed by a frustrated, “F*CK, it’s Yanqing.”

 And there I was, in my friend’s arms after this disastrous date. That was it for me. No more Honkai Star Rail players. I was done.

Then one evening, during my shift, I noticed someone playing alone on a tablet. His coworkers had already left, and he was quietly sipping his coffee, focused on his game. And guess what? He was playing Honkai Star Rail. Maybe it was fate, I thought to myself.

 He had an air of calm and charm that I couldn’t ignore. Dressed in a well-fitted jacket over a crisp shirt, he looked polished but relaxed. His gaze was steady, thoughtful, and there was something quietly confident about the way he held himself, completely absorbed in his game. He seemed like someone who knew who he was, grounded and easygoing, yet with a sense of depth.

 I’d promised myself I was done with HSR players, but I couldn’t resist. When I brought him the check, I slipped my number alongside it.

The next morning, as I check my messages, I notice one from an unknown sender. Not just any unknow, though, it’s from that restaurant guy. Let’s call him Y. At that time, I was so happy. We decide to meet up in town, and he’ll come pick me up at a designated spot. I didn’t want him knowing where I live, you never know, (he could be a Bailu main DPS, a Criterfly or maybe an Adventurine max ATK enjoyer).

He was well-dressed, but I could sense a certain awkwardness in his tone. We had lunch together, and everything went smoothly. He offered to drop me off at work afterward. I declined, but he insisted. On the way, he mentioned we’d need to stop by the supermarket because he was out of shampoo. I shrugged, didn’t mind as long as we stayed on schedule.

Once we were back on the road, we chatted about everything and nothing, swapping our favorite drinks, sports, and foods. He admitted that his favorite animal is the Serval, and I have to admit, they are pretty adorable.

Later, on the road, he casually asked if I’d be interested in having dinner at his place, after my shift. He said he’d make Kofta meatballs, and we could watch Black Swan. Strange pick, why not? I started to wonder…he seemed completely different compared to our first meeting. He was clumsier in his words, a bit tense, almost like someone who’s stressed about making a good impression.

Did he regret giving me a ride?

The atmosphere started to feel heavy, as if something was weighing on him. I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding something. Was he in a relationship? Did he have a kid? So many questions swirled in my mind, but I kept them to myself. When we pulled into the half-empty parking lot of the newly renovated restaurant, with its flashy sign and modern facade, he decided to walk in with me. Inside, as we settled in, he looked at me seriously and said, “Listen, there’s something important I need to tell you. It’s about HSR.”

I ask him what team he plays, hoping for a straightforward answer. But I notice his gaze shifts away, almost as if he’s ashamed. Come on, I’m not asking for much, just a meta player.

As our conversation goes on, I start to realize that his team setup is… well, let’s just say, less and less impressive. Hyperbreak? No. FUA? No. Archeron? No. Mono Quantum? No. Bit by bit, I’m forcing myself to keep smiling, but it’s getting harder. Fear starts creeping in. What on earth does he actually play?

Curiosity gnaws at me, but at the same time, unease sets in. My mind flashes back to past relationships, the scars they left behind. Anxious thoughts swirl. What could he possibly be about to tell me?

Then suddenly, he blurts out, “D.O.T., I play **D.O.T…

Content cut off. Read original on https://old.reddit.com/r/HonkaiStarRail/comments/1grgamr/the_days_have_gone_by_but_im_still_thinking_about/