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The original was posted on /r/maliciouscompliance by /u/0x1337D00D on 2024-11-17 20:00:25+00:00.

I work at a big retail chain, where the stockroom is the wild west and chaos is the norm. We recently got a new supervisor, Sarah, who seems to think she’s running the Navy SEALs or something. She’s obsessed with speed—constantly on us about how we need to get things done faster. Doesn’t matter if it’s done right, as long as it’s done fast.

So one day, during peak restock time when we’re drowning in boxes, Sarah storms in with her clipboard and her best “I’m in charge” face. She corners me while I’m halfway through a massive inventory check and says, “You’re taking way too long with these. Just get through them quickly. We don’t have time to check every single item!”

I try to explain that rushing inventory checks is a bad idea, but she cuts me off with a condescending smile. “If you can’t speed this up, maybe this job isn’t the right fit for you,” she says, all smug like she just dropped a bombshell. 😒

Alright, Sarah. You want speed? Let’s see how fast things can spiral out of control.

So, I take her words to heart and decide to follow her instructions exactly. The next day, I’m scheduled for another inventory check. Instead of my usual process where I count everything carefully, I decide to play Sarah’s game. I glance at the shelves and make up numbers that seem about right. I don’t even bother opening boxes to check if what’s inside matches the labels. I fly through the whole process, marking items off like I’m speed-running a video game. What usually takes me 2 hours, I finish in just 20 minutes.

Sarah sees me finish up, and I can see her eyes light up. She walks over, grinning ear to ear. “See, that wasn’t so hard, was it? If you keep this up, you might even get a little bonus this month,” she says, patting herself on the back for her brilliant leadership skills. 🙄

Fast forward a week, and the store manager, Mike, calls an emergency meeting. The inventory reports have come back, and they’re a total disaster. According to the report, we’re missing thousands of dollars worth of products. It looks like we either lost half the stock or we’re running some underground black market. Mike’s pissed, customers are complaining about out-of-stock items, and the regional manager is breathing down his neck.

Mike turns to Sarah and asks her to explain how this could’ve happened. Sarah, trying to save face, immediately points at the team and says, “They must’ve messed up the counts. They weren’t thorough enough.” She’s throwing us under the bus without a second thought.

This is where I decide to strike. I raise my hand and say, “Actually, I did exactly what Sarah told us to do. She said to skip checking the items and just get it done as quickly as possible. I was just following orders.”

You could hear a pin drop. Mike slowly turns to Sarah, his expression going from confused to furious. “Is this true?” he asks, narrowing his eyes at her.

Sarah’s stammering now, trying to backtrack. “Well, I—uh, I didn’t mean to skip it entirely. I just meant to speed it up…”

But it’s too late. The damage is done. Mike’s already fuming. “So you decided to cut corners on the one thing that affects our bottom line? You do realize we have to do a full recount now because of this mess, right?”

And that’s exactly what happens. The next day, Sarah and a few unlucky team members spend 12 hours redoing the entire inventory check from scratch. The rest of us get to enjoy watching them sweat it out while we handle our regular duties. It’s glorious.

As they’re counting, I make sure to walk by every so often and ask, “Need any help speeding things up? I could skip a few checks for you if that helps!” The look on Sarah’s face every time is pure rage mixed with embarrassment. She can’t say anything because she knows I’m just doing what she asked for.

By the end of it, we’ve found thousands of dollars in discrepancies. Turns out, rushing through inventory checks leaves a lot of room for errors—who knew? 🙄 The regional manager isn’t happy and Sarah ends up getting a formal warning. She stops harping on us about speed after that and even tries to be extra nice whenever I’m around. Guess she realized that maybe, just maybe, some tasks shouldn’t be rushed.

The best part? A couple of weeks later, I get a small bonus for “outstanding attention to detail” in helping fix the inventory mess. Oh, the irony. Sarah couldn’t even look me in the eye when I got the bonus slip.

And every time she walks by me now, I just give her a friendly smile and say, “Don’t worry, boss, I’m working as fast as you want!”