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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RealisticPirate5663 on 2023-08-09 22:08:54.

My wife and I have been married for about 4 years. She brought 3 kids from previous relationships into the marriage while I have none. They moved into my house after the marriage because I live in a better school district. Obviously we’ve had our ups and downs but overall it’s been good until a couple of weeks ago when I woke up and found a large dent running down the entire passenger side of my car. The dent is about a hands wide, starts at the front fender, and runs down all the way to the rear tire.

I was furious and thought someone side swept my car as it was parked on the street. I checked our doorbell camera to see if it recorded anything and was surprised to see our 16 year old daughter sneaking out of the house in the middle of the night and driving off in my car. She later returned hours later stumbling into the house. Outside of those 2 events, the doorbell camera didn’t record anything else but a couple of passing cars that didn’t come close to mine. I angrily showed my wife the recording and told her our daughter needs to be punish but she said that she’ll talk to her. I argued that talk isn’t enough which led us into an argument. My wife argued that the new family dynamic has been hard on the kids while I argued that it doesn’t excuse the damage done to my car. I wanted her to agree to ground our daughter from social media and make her get a job to pay for the damage. We argued for hours until she said I don’t get a say in any punishment because I’m not her father.

That ended the argument and I walked off.

Since then I’ve checked out of any parental duties. I’ve been an adult and still make sure the kids are safe and fed but I haven’t done anything a father would do. They had doctor’s appointments last week for their checkups because they play sports in school and I refused to drive them causing my wife to have to take off work. They start school next week and I’ve dropped them off ever since they moved in but I told my wife she’ll have to do it this year. She argued she can’t because of her work schedule and I answered a mother would figure it out. She called me a child and to grow up. I think since I’m not the father I don’t have to take on the responsibilities of one but obviously she disagrees.

AITA?

Edit

I was angry when I wrote it so I left out some info.

My wife wants me to report it to my insurance as a hit and run. She said that way no one has to pay for it. I argue that I’ll have to pay for it in the long run because they’ll jack up my rates.

I’m not ignoring the kids and I still talk to them daily. I just don’t do or make any parental decisions like I stated above. Also the other day our son asked me if he should play basketball or football and I told him to go ask his mother.