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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/MoietTu123 on 2023-08-10 03:31:00.

My sister 28F has 2 biological kids (11M,11F) who I 31F have taken care of their whole lives she got pregnant at 17 and decided to keep them. She underestimated how hard kids were and gave up. Since the second she brought them home my parents and i did all the work apart for feeding. Which she would often refuse to do as she was tired. A little after the twins were born we found out that my mum had early onset Alzheimer’s so I had to take on more responsibility with the them. A year later I graduated university and basically became the sole caregiver of the twins and my mum as I have my own business and can work from home. A little later I adopted the twins my sister didn’t fight and signed over rights without saying anything against it. That along with my father’s job generated enough income to live comfortably.

A couple years later I got married to my boyfriend who I had been with for a few years, he knew about my kids parentage but took them in as his own. Later we started discussing having kids and after discussing it at length both together and with the twins we decided to start trying. My daughter was born when the twins were 8 and they have been wonderful older siblings and she adores them. Even after I got married we still lived with my parents and sister as my mother needed someone to take care of her and my sister refused to help out.

Now we have decided to put mum into a care home as it has become too much on me and my family. My and my husband decided to finally move out to around 1 hour away due to how expensive houses are near where we used to live. This has cause some issues with my sister as she has started trying to take my kids (her bio kids). She first asked to move in with us but she has severe anger issues which she refuses to get help for and as much as I love her my kids come first. I will let her visit I’m not having her living with us as she is to unpredictable and while she hasn’t hurt my kids she has lashed out at them. Im not saying that she can’t see them but I just don’t want her living with us especially as she doesn’t work and really just wants to not have to take care of herself (For anyone asking yes she lived at the old house but she was rarely home and lived in a converted garage in the garden so we didn’t see her often.

She is now saying that I have my daughter so I should “give her, her kids back” I told her that they are my kids not hers. They know she is their bio mother but only see her as their aunt like my bio daughter. She has started trying to take legal action but since she signed over rights with no residence and no intention to get rights back there is not much she can do. So she has started getting my outer family involved the majority of my aunts and uncles are on her side saying that I was basically only a babysitter and that they aren’t my actual kids. I don’t know what to do? AITA for not giving them to her or letting her move in?