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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/nojdanzig on 2023-08-10 07:21:36.

I work on a site which requires no chance of sparks due to the nature of the business so all phones are locked away.

About eight weeks ago, I got to my phone while preparing to go home and saw that, in the time since dinner, I had received thirteen calls and voicemails and a lot of WhatsApp messages asking me to contact my brothers.

After ringing the missed calls and trying to get an idea of what was wrong, I got hold of my sister in law who told me that my mother had a routine operation and was dead. I was totally in shock. I tried contacting my brothers who were at the hospital but reception there was very poor.

When I finally got to the hospital (almost two hours later due to distance and traffic) I finally found my mother and brothers in ICU which I thought was strange. They were behind curtains and I noticed that my mother had oxygen being pumped into her and asked my brother about it and was told it was a comfort thing. Next thing that happened was my mother slowly moving her hands. I nearly jumped out of my skin thinking that my mother was a zombie coming back to life.

After being calmed, I was told that her vital signs began dropping at the end of the operation and the decision was made to withdraw life support because my brothers did not want her to suffer any more pain.

I spent the next day in the hospital watching her slowly die while seething about being told a massive lie.

At the funeral, my sister-in-law walked up and said she wanted a hug because I was sad. I politely told her that I wasn’t in the mood. On my way out of the wake, I shook everyone’s hand except hers and it upset her

So am I the asshole?