This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/AITASpanish9 on 2023-06-21 06:57:58+00:00.

AITA for telling my stepmom that I WON’T learn her native language?

I 15F am a White American of Dutch and German decent. My stepmother is Mexican American.

I have always loved to learn new languages. I am currently studying Dutch because my ancestry made me interested in it. My stepmom 43F has been in my life long enough to know about my language learning passion. My bio-mom isn’t in my life at the moment and my stepmom fulfilling that role for me. She is doing a good job in my opinion. She cars about me a lot.

Since my bio-mom isn’t in my life my stepmom has wanted to have a closer bond with me. I don’t mind that and I want it to. However, one thing bothers me. She knows about my language learning passion and wants me to learn Spanish so we could speak to each other in it. I don’t hate the Spanish language but I’m not interested in it. I study Dutch because I have Dutch ancestry and because It allows me to read the diary of my Dutch great-grandfather. Spanish doesn’t have that connection and history to me to convince me to put in the time and energy to learn it. I tell my stepmom this but she doesn’t get it.

A weird thing she does is try to spanishize my name. If my name was “Mary” (not my name just an example) she’ll try to call me “Maria.” I tell her I find this weird and she’ll apologize but call me the same name just a few minutes later. When I ask why she says its to get me used to being in a latin household with her. I find this response really weird so I just accepted being called a more Spanish version of my name in order to avoid that conversation.

Tonight I was home alone with stepmom. A situation like that allows her to talk to me on a much deeper level. So over dinner we talk. It was a good talk for the most part. She talked about her love for me and I was flattered. Because my bio-mom isn’t in my life she has proposed that I be adopted by her. I’m still thinking about that but she mentioned indirectly during our conversation. “If you’re going to be the daughter of a Latina like me you should learn Spanish to connect with your culture.”

I have always found her obsession with me learning Spanish annoying. One more time I state that Spanish has no significance to me and that she can forget about me ever learning it. I finished my meal and went to my room to watch a movie.

Half way into the movie stepmom comes into my room and asks me for an apology. Apparently by stating that Spanish has no meaning to me I insulted her culture and heritage.

I don’t feel like I did any of that. What is your opinion, redditors?