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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/NoParamedic1176 on 2023-08-11 02:32:36.

Hi, I just wanted to share my experience.

When you think about asian household clichés you would totally think of the highly disciplined and hardworking family one.

I wouldn’t say that mine wasn’t, we are a family of six and I’m the youngest one.

My father would always push us to work harder and bring good marks, but when my parents divorced when I was 13 I chosed to live with my mother, she was just kind and caretaking I guess.

I still picked up on my father values who is relatively honest and individualistic. I would say that the rigid typical Asian experience with strict parenting depicted in your overzealous sit coms and parody would have fitted my life experience better.

As the youngest one, you could think that I was the most cherished one or the “leftover child”. I was the latter, considering that I was also diagnosed with autism when I was 6 and later with ADHD when I was 11 and 4 months.

I never realized until now about the cherished child stereotype or how parents should interact a different way with autistic children.

I don’t resent my parents but sometime I feel like I need some support, I live on my own, I’m 22 and a student, I cut contact with family and I’m falling into the trap. I always want to achieve everything my own and not ask for help because I feel that I can only rely on myself. I had a huge meltdown last Monday after my internship, it hit way harder than the previous ones, and as a child it would be more frequently but more bearable , but this one was bringing me to complete exhaustion and getting bedridden for almost 10 days.

I know where I’m going, but that is the problem. I don’t want to do a job that is why I pursued studies.

Also as I always am “rational and ratherly cold” to people that aren’t my friends, I hear and feel everyone dissing on me but it’s okay. As an Asian people tell me I’m good at maths and sciences, when people consider me like a normal human and learn that I am autistic they say that it’s because of my condition. But then I happen to cry, I happen to feel deeply and frequently and now I’m no more the “autistic logical” man.

I feel like I don’t fit even a little in boxes even the ones I’m supposed to be stereotyped in.

I have the need to be alienated, I think so, so I can relieve myself from myself. I surely know that I can chose it independently of others’ judgement but to be put into boxes conveniently can sometime be easier to live on…