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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Big_Bet_7434 on 2023-08-11 11:28:51.


The punishment was issued because our 8 year old son faked being sick the day of his dad’s wedding so he wouldn’t be there. Ex got married last weekend. My ex was furious when he found out and the truth came out because he went home to check on our son in the afternoon and found our son perfectly fine after saying that morning that his stomach hurt really bad and he felt like he was going to be sick and actually pretended to have puked at some point that morning. So ex and his wife were upset but decided if he wasn’t feeling good he should stay home. The babysitter also told ex our son seemed fine once everyone was gone and he’d been normal.

Our son admitted it to his dad when asked directly and ex grounded him for a month and told him he would not be having any kind of fun when he missed something as important as his wedding, and the day their family became bigger.

When the exchange day took place ex sent me this long, in depth email about what our son had done, the punishment he had set, and that he expected me to continue the punishment at my house so our son could be grounded for 4 consecutive weeks instead of spreading it over two months.

I spoke to our son when we were home and he admitted to me that he was really upset about his dad getting married and the fact things at his house were now permanent and that he didn’t love that his stepmom was now his stepmom and her daughters were now his stepsisters. I told him I would make him an appointment with his therapist. She got him in quickly and they had a good talk.

I also decided not to continue the grounding at my house. I notified my ex. He was pissed. His wife was pissed. They told me mine and ex’s son had disrespected both of them and had disrespected his new sisters by avoiding the celebration of them all becoming one family. I told them that Callum (son) was struggling with all the changes and he’s had trouble adjusting to us no longer being together and us both having new partners who have other kids. That I had gotten him therapy for that very reason and that ex chose not to bring our son when he has him, as is his right, but I also have the right to take a different approach to this.

Ex said that our son never told him these things and I should be backing him up. I pointed out our son did tell him. It was two years ago but he did tell him and he gave him attitude for it. Ex said it was no excuse and I should help punish him. I told him I want our son to tell me things so I will always try to find ways to help him without punishing him.

Ex and his wife say I’m an asshole and I should continue the punishment. She said I would not allow my son to dictate my life or that I would not like him skipping something like that of mine. I told her I delayed furthering my relationship until my son is more comfortable and I did so because he wasn’t behaving the best around them and we talked and I realized he’d need help and time.

AITA?