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The original was posted on /r/aspergers by /u/interplanetarystd on 2023-08-11 14:49:29.

I think I might finally be ready to accept loneliness and throw in the friend making towel. Since learning that I was on the spectrum a few months ago Ive tried to reach out to and befriend a few autistic people but its gone about as well, perhaps worse, than trying to befriend NT’s. Most of the autistic people I tried talking to on this autistic app eventually stopped replying, perhaps I am just boring.

However I did meet two people I felt like I was starting to befriend until things fell apart. One girl I talked to for a few months but we werent compatible socially, she said that I didn’t know how to talk to people and often there were misunderstandings. Eventually I blocked her because she seemed to misunderstand me greatly and led to her making hurtful comments, I could’nt take it.

Then I meet another autistic girl and we talked for about a week. Seemed to be going really well, I saw a lot of myself in her and we related a lot but I did notice that she seemed to be very self absorbed, like more-so than they say we are as is. Then she got upset and said I was texting her too much so I apologized and she wanted me to buy her stuff to make up for it and I got a weird feeling in my gut. I declined and then she says Im gaslighting and being abusive and that Im a dangerous person who’s going to hurt people. Blocked.

Im so tired of trying to make friends. Doesnt matter if its NT or ND, people will always judge me harshly for the smallest things and make assumptions about me. Im tired of being kind and considerate to others only to get the opposite in return. And to think I had the nerve to feel optimistic about connecting with a community and finding “my people”. Being an outsider is one thing but being an outsider even amongst outsiders is a different level of loneliness.