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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/a_bitch_and_bastard on 2023-08-11 15:26:14.

A rant that got long

I see all the time men on Reddit complaining about how they don’t get as much sex as they’d like in their relationships. They complain about “lack of intimacy”. But sex isn’t the only form of intimacy! What about cuddling or kissing or even just physical closeness?

Either they think sex is the only way to be intimate with a partner (sad & stupid imo) or they don’t actually want intimacy and just want to get their dick wet.

I was in a relationship with an ace partner and whenever I wanted sex I masturbated and whenever I wanted intimacy we cuddled and it was blissful.

In contrast, my most recent ex expected sex. When I told him I wasn’t ready, he accepted it. But then he wanted to cuddle and I love cuddling! But EVERY TIME WE CUDDLED HE EXPECTED SEX.

I’m not just talking about getting a boner, those things happen, it’s not their fault. But he’d initiate sex. I felt so disrespected.

Why is this so fucking hard for men to understand? Is getting sex so important that all other forms of intimacy are lesser? Why do men throw away loving relationships bc they don’t “get enough”?

Don’t they understand that if they can cuddle with their partner without pressuring them into sex, they might get their intimacy needs met AND they might have sex more often because there’s no pressure!

Pressuring women to have sex is a relationship killer. It’s a guarantee she won’t want to. But there’s nothing sexier than a man who doesn’t place pressure on me when we have physical closeness. I’d be way more comfortable initiating.

Is this expectation to constantly “put out” entitlement? I feel like I’m losing my mind. I feel like I’m doomed to be unhappy with non asexual/demi men

And no, I’m not asexual myself. I regularly experience sexual attraction and I desire sex. I can’t have sex with someone I’m not completely comfortable with. I’ve tried.