This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/NotyourangeLbabe on 2024-12-21 05:11:23+00:00.

I’m kind of seeing someone and he seems to be a “Don’t worry, it’ll all be fine” kind of person. I understand that he means well, but it feels dismissive.

I spent the last two weekends in bed with a migraine, I’ve had to cancel a couple christmas-y plans, I didn’t get to do my Christmas shopping last weekend, and now I have a horrible flu and might not be well by Christmas. It’s the first Christmas I’ve spent with my dad in three years, and he has cancer. So if I’m sick, I can’t be around him. I’m bummed. I’m holding out hope, but I’m bummed. I had a flu last Christmas and spent the holiday alone, sick, in my apartment.

When I was stuck in bed the last couple of weeks, when I said I was bummed about not being able to do the things I wanted and needed to do, he said “don’t be bummed, you’ll catch up and it will all be fine” and I almost wanted to stop talking to him because it’s so frustrating losing so much time, and the only two days a week that I can fully utilize my days, just to have someone say “It’s fine 😀”

Because it’s not fine. It’s frustrating. I spent most of November deep in a crash, so I’m already playing catch up. Most of my life is playing catch up. It’s not fine. It won’t all just be okay. I’ll have to work extra hard to make things good enough and hope that doesn’t cause me to crash again.

I’m trying to not give in to my knee jerk emotional reaction. I’m sure he thinks he’s saying something supportive. How do I respectfully tell him, and really anyone that responds this way, that it makes me not want to be honest about how I’m struggling?

Edit: spelling