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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Main_Painting861 on 2023-08-11 18:18:13.

So, for starters, this is a throw away account.

I’ll begin with some context: I (28M) have been married to my wife (29F) for 5 years now. We were both part of a very conservative church and that’s where we met. Much of our youth was spent in the church trying to be the most perfect, most honor bringing teens for our parents. We started dating around 16 years old and I genuinely love her. I always have.

To avoid a life of “sin” we were urged by our families to work hard and get married young and start a family. I was studying and working about 50 hours a week. I saved up and bought a house (while saved up to help with the wedding). We get married a year later (now at 22 years old or so) and I continue working to improve our situation.

Both our families are so proud that their kids have this model lifestyle. Two young God fearing kids followed all the rules and they are totally happy. False.

Though, I can say that I am blessed with an incredible job, a beautiful home and wife (no kids yet), these last 5 years have been miserable. I feel like my youth was robbed from me. My 20s were robbed from me. I’m 28 now and I feel so bad because everything I dreamt of doing like traveling, living abroad, getting to know new people, and having the freedom to do whatever has been taken away from me.

I love my wife but our marriage is far from perfect. I feel like I am at a midlife crisis. My career has peaked (high earning senior Technology Consultant), my finances are perfect, my home is beautiful, my family is proud of me… This dream that so many want is the thing I want to escape. I’ve lived for everybody else my entire life.

I want to divorce my wife (which will hurt her, our families and of course myself) and move to another country far away and just Live.

AITAH for wanting to start my life over by leaving my wife and moving far away?

Tldr: Grew up and lived a perfect life for my church and family. I missed out on everything I wanted. Considering leaving my wife which I love and moving far away.

Edit: yes, she knows I feel this way! We have been going to counseling for this as a couple and she understands. I just feel bad about it.

Edit: I shouldn’t use the word abandon. As this will be a civil and mutually agreed divorce. With division of assets and no hostility. Abandon is the word my family and church would likely use.

Final edit: My wife is totally happy with our lifestyle! She does not care to travel and leave everything behind. She doesn’t care to sell our home or cars or leave the comfort we have. She is happy. I feel responsible for ensuring her happiness… Which has been killing my own happiness. She is aware of this.