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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Sweet_Rock_910 on 2023-08-11 20:59:38.

Throwaway account

I (35F) have a younger brother, “Alex” (33M), who recently came out as a trans man. I support the LGBTQ+ community and believe everyone has a right to their identity. However, Alex and I have unresolved issues from our childhood. When we were kids, he did something really hurtful to me (unrelated to his gender identity). We never spoke about it, and he never apologized.

When he started his transition and asked the family to use he/him pronouns, I told him I would, but only if he apologized for the past incident. My reasoning was that if he expects respect from me regarding his identity, I deserve an apology for the hurt he caused me.

The family is split. Some think I’m using his identity against him, while others feel I’m justified in wanting an apology.

AITA for this condition?

Edit since everyone wants to know what he did: When I told him I thought I might be a lesbian in confidence he went around telling everyone and made extremely homophobic remarks. So I want an appolgy since he is now a member of the LGBTQ+ community.