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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/AtmosphereEnt on 2023-08-12 00:33:17.

I(M23) have been dating my girlfriend(F23) for 2 years, known each other for 4. We met at college and after graduating we began dating and moved in together shortly after. When we began dating my girlfriend was overweight but now obese. We used to go on walks, hikes, and workout together.

The past year she has been doing less and less actively, while I have been keeping up. I work a physical job which requires a lot of moving heavy equipment and constantly being on my feet while she works a desk job. She has began gaining weight rapidly around 6 months ago. The first 6 months of the year she gained around 30 pounds and in the last 6 months around 100. This is due mostly to her getting takeout during her lunch and then getting takeout again for dinner. Her Weight gain isn’t an issue for me, I love her and honestly don’t really care. I do miss our walks and hikes but we still spend time together

Onto the real issue. We have an on/off sex life we can go months without doing it and then consistently for weeks. I do almost all the initiating. Since my girlfriends weight gain she has begun to wear sweaters during sex. I’m glad she can be more comfortable during the act and I used to be able to put my hands underneath and still feel her but recently she has stopped this. This made me not want to have sex with her at all. I don’t want to have sex with a sweater I want to have sex with her. I stopped initiating for this reason and it took her almost 3 weeks to notice, at the end of the three weeks she initiated for the first time in a while and I politely shut it down, she responded to this by getting mad at me. I explained that while I enjoy sex I just don’t get turned on by touching a sweater. She explained that she’s insecure and I shouldn’t punish her for this. I asked her if she wanted me to just fake it and she said no. She said that sex is just going to require me not touching her or seeing her.

Here’s where I believe I may be the asshole. I told her that maybe sex isn’t for her then. She immediately got up and began telling me how inconsiderate I am and that even though her body is changing she still has needs. I suggested masturbation as thats what I do when she doesn’t want to have sex for longer periods of time. She got upset saying she wanted to have sex with me. She then left for a couple of hours, in this time she didn’t respond to any of my texts asking her to please come home and talk this through. When she did come home she asked me to sleep on the couch so I did.

This morning she left before I was awake. During the day she didn’t respond to any of the texts I had sent the night before or the one I had sent today asking how she was feeling and if she wanted to have dinner together to talk (we normally don’t have dinner together as my work ends around 8-9PM). She never responded but I left work early and when I came home she wasn’t there. I asked where she was but she responded she’s at dinner with her sister and that she’ll text when she’s ready. I think she’s overreacting by not talking to me and making me sleep on the couch.

AITAH?