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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/TheMillersWife on 2023-06-21 14:01:10+00:00.

Context: My (37F) brother (39M) has a strained relationship with his daughter (15F). He hasn’t held a stable job in years and barely pays anything towards Child Support and is prone to angry blowups when things don’t go his way. He constantly accuses his child’s mother of souring his relationship with the daughter but he has her blocked on her phone.

The daughter (my niece) maintains a good relationship with me and my family and regularly asks to come over for the weekend, holidays, etc. We don’t really talk about her dad though she will volunteer little story bytes (like how he blocked her after she sent a text to him asking to respect her therapy sessions because he joined a virtual session without her consent).

She was over my house for Father’s Day because she told my husband that he’s the closest thing to a real dad that she has. We asked if she wanted her dad over and she said no.

Today he calls me (for the first time in over a year) screaming at me because I don’t let him know when she’s over my house. Asked why I don’t let him know when she’s over. I told him that I didn’t know what kind of communication they have with each other and that I’m just maintaining MY relationship with her. TBH he doesn’t even cross my mind when she’s over usually because it’s so impromptu.

He said I was enabling his daughter’s mother’s scheme to keep them apart and that everything I was saying was bullshit. He asked me how I would feel if he had my kids over without telling me. I told him that I would work on my relationship with THEM if that happened…. At which point, he hung up on me.

My brother and I have had a contentious relationship too - I let him stay in one of my houses when he was on rough times and after a bunch of complaints from my HOA about him (parties until 3am, loud music, strange people coming in and out), I told him he had to go.

So AITA for not going out of my way to invite him to events that I know she will be at or letting him know when she’s over?