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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RegularMan1000 on 2023-08-12 10:18:53.

The crux of this matter happened over ten years ago but it still affects my life today. I was a fairly responsible 16 year old boy. I had a part time job and a good understanding of budgeting. For that reason, I frequently helped my parents and brother with their finances.

When my older brother “Shane” was getting married, I helped him plan the wedding. I was aware that Shane and his fiance wanted a child free wedding but, since I helped Shane with the suits and organising a venue for the reception, he said he would make an exception for me. And the exception wasn’t a secret, we talked about it in front my parents, his fiance and his best man.

Two weeks before the wedding, Shane mentioned as off-handedly as he could manage that I wasn’t invited to the ceremony or the reception. In his words, I did have the important job of babysitting the younger family members. This obviously pissed me off. And being a teenager, I may have blown some things out of proportion. I called him various names relating to his lack of testicular fortitude and overabundance of malice, in less verbose terms. I told him I wouldn’t be babysitting at all, even when he and my parents offered me £1000 to do it. I just felt even more offended and I stormed off like a brat.

For two days, Shane blew up my phone with apologies, bargains and even death threats. He eventually said he would make an exception and allow me to attend his wedding but he obviously didn’t want me there and I didn’t want to go anymore so I refused. And as the day came and went, I refused to talk to my parents about the wedding or look at the photographs or acknowledge Shane at all.

That really established our relationship for ten years. I have since got my own house and a very stable lifestyle. Shane has two kids I have never met and a soon-to-be ex-wife. He is now trying to reconnect with me because I suspect he wants to move into my house; I heard he currently lives in a caravan after he was thrown out by SIL.

But he is stubborn, he wants me to apologise for my words and actions ten years ago before he introduces my niece and nephew to me. I am also stubborn (maybe it runs in the family), and I want to tell him that I would prefer our relationship stay dead but I thought I should check here for more thoughts and opinions.

So AITA for not apologising for what I did and said over ten years ago?