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The original was posted on /r/cremposting by /u/JeffSheldrake on 2025-01-05 18:30:08+00:00.

You can call me Szeth-son-son-Vallano. I’m currently 39 years old. Not that you’d care, but I reside on Urithiru’s fifth level. Also, I’ve yet to marry. In order to make a living, I work for Dalinar Kholin. After a long day’s work, I return home no later than 6 PM. I don’t like smoking, but do enjoy the occasional drink. I’m always in bed by 9 PM, and I make it a point to get no less than 7 hours of sleep each night. Before bed, I drink a warm glass of sheep’s milk. It’s always coupled with 20 minutes of stretching to decompress from the long workday. Bad dreams are nevertheless the usual result of this.

I then awake as sad and depressed as a teenage boy, ready to take on the day’s challenges. And after my last checkup, I was given a terrible bill of health. For as long as I could remember, I’ve done everything in my power to live a stressful life that allows me to pursue a lasting inner torment. This may be a foreign concept, but I choose not to concern myself with winning or losing, life’s troubles, or enemies who bring Everstorms. That is how I cope with this backwards life we find ourselves living. It’s what brings me self-loathing in a world fraught with hardship and misery. Of course, when I engage in combat, I win the battle without question.