This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LouieKabuchi on 2023-08-12 14:28:09.

My husband got sick yesterday and it seems to be a generic cold. Maybe the flu. His immune system is shot from Adderall and working himself to the bone for the past 6mo.

I handle everything in the home, which I’m completely fine with! I just don’t have much room in my calender for nursing a sick person back to health lol.

He will not or cannot do anything for himself except pee. I don’t know how feels, maybe it’s really that bad. He has always gotten so sick with a cold and MIL says he’s been this way.

But in my head, it can’t be so bad that I need to run up and down the stairs for water, tissues, watch over him like fairy God mother while he stops up a bloody nose for 30 minutes.

Reason is, anytime I’ve been sick or in pain, truly crippling pain, he barely bat a lash! I’ve sprained my ankle, broke my toes, went to the ER to yank out an IUD (worst pain of my life), been so sick I passed out in a ice cold shower.

He did nothing for me whatsoever. And I’m not resentful of that, I still went to work and got on with my life. We grew up poor where being injured or sick was a luxury. I have a very high pain tolerance and all this is normal to me.

But I figure that if he isn’t concerned with illness and pain that way I have experienced it, maybe he doesn’t actually feel it as bad? As in, he doesn’t actually need all this help.

On top of that, I have horrific misophonia. I can’t tolerate mouth noises of any kind. And no it isn’t an annoyance with chewing. It’s painful and causes panic attacks.

So having him fucking swallow snow and sniffle right next to me in bed all night is pure torture. I wear ear plugs, of course… but he will frantically smack my arm for something, then when I pull my ear plug out he fucking waits 5-10 seconds to answer me and SWALLOWS OR SNIFFLES.

I haven’t slept in two days. He refuses to do anything to bring his fever down and getting him to take Tylenol was like convincing a toddler to.

So I left my bratty and whining puppy upstairs with him because I just cannot fucking stand either of them right now and I don’t know if I should feel bad about it because he’s sick.

As far as he know, I’m worried he’s gonna die. I’ve been very gentle and kind with him. He has no idea how horrible annoyed I am.

I think I could be an asshole here because the dude is sick and can’t help how his body responds to that! He might not know how to support me when I don’t feel good but does so in other ways and this is the only time he really “gets to” fall apart and have someone baby him.

Edit:

Puppy, who is actually 10mo, was only “left” in her kennell for 5 minutes and had already been taken potty just 30 seconds before. I was just feeling assy because she demand barks and he’s got a headache.