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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/cartrouble50 on 2023-08-12 18:47:11.

First time poster. My son told me to post on here because quite there is a rift in our household right now.

Here are the key details you should know. My son (23) has always worked very hard and earlier this year purchased a GMC for 30K. This was a big deal to him because before that he was still driving the old Chrysler he got after his grandma passed away.

Second key detail is that my wife and I have been saving for our kids’ college when they were young. My son has graduated college and that money has mostly been used up. I think it’s about 50K that each of them received or will receive in the case of my daughter who is 16.

My son went out of town last weekend to visit friends. That is when this incident went down. Sometime after my wife and I fell asleep on Friday night, my daughter snuck out at night and took his car. My wife and I got a call from the police at close to 3 AM telling us that my daughter and 3 friends were in custody after they had ran the car up a curb, knocking down a street sign and colliding with a tree. They were speeding recklessly, and to top it all off, my daughter wasn’t even driving but they all had been drinking too. Car is totaled. Since she wasn’t the driver she avoided the DUI but was charged with underage drinking as well as a curfew violation.

I’m going to skip the part where we picked her up from the police station and conversations because it’s not relevant. when my son arrived home he was crushed. So without thinking anything of it, I told my son to go buy a new one and I will be transferring the money from his sisters college fund so he can buy a new one.

He wasn’t able to find the same great deal on the same year with similar mileage. He used almost 40K to get a 2022 model And I was fine with it. This left his sisters fund with about 15K left. It is her dream to go to a big school in the south, which now seems like a pipe dream unless she takes out big loans.

Naturally, she’s been in hysterics about the college fund and thinking I’m going too hard. She currently hates me, her mom (who is on my side) and brother for spending the money when “he could have gotten a cheaper car”.

Likely, she will need to go a cheaper school. Most likely go to community college for 2 years first too to save money. This broke her because she has been set on the particular school since she was in middle school (she has a lot of clothes and even bed sheets of her dream school) so I understand this is tough on her.

IMO she’s lucky to be alive after this stunt, so having her college plans change is a small price to pay imo. My sister and some others are very upset with my wife, son and I. Saying that it sucks, but college is more important than the car.

The car is bought, the money is spent, the situation is more or less over. So am I an asshole for this? My daughter is currently spouting the “I’m moving out at 18 and never talking to you again” crap but her mom and I think that will blow over.

Edit: we will make up the extra money taken for sons new car. We had to spend that because what he was looking for was hard to find, but by the time she goes to college we will have made up that extra money and I will make that promise to her.