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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Specialist_Tell511 on 2023-08-12 18:17:33.

I (F32) have a stepbrother Todd (34). Todd has a daughter, Serena (5) with his ex, and he is engaged to Mary (34) and Mary has a daughter called Willa (6) whom she shares with her ex, though she has recently gained sole custody.

I have never been particularly close to Todd, but Serena and my daughter Adelia (also 5) get along great and I get on with his ex, Victoria, so the girls spend a lot of time together.

Recently, we had a family garden party to celebrate Adelia’s birthday. While Adelia was opening her presents, Willa got extremely agitated and ended up crying so Mary had to take her inside until we put all the presents away. After the presents Mary brought Willa back out and all was going fine, until Adelia came over to me and asked if she could give Serena one of her ride on cars. My dad had gifted her a second one and she said she would like Serena to have her old one. Todd said it was fine so I said sure.

Willa then got upset and Mary said I needed to make Adelia give Willa something as well, otherwise it wasn’t fair. I said I didn’t make her give Serena anything, she offered, and I wasn’t going to discourage her from that by forcing her to give away something else as well. Mary got more and more irate despite Todd trying to smooth things over, and Willa got worked up as we’ll be wise Serena was excited over the car. Todd and Mary ended up taking Willa home early (Serena was staying for a sleepover).

Mary is now refusing to attend any more family gatherings because of the “favouritism” which is causing scheduling chaos. Todd is saying this will blow over. I can’t help but wonder if I’m the AH for not just taking something I know Adelia wouldn’t miss and giving it to Willa to appease Mary.