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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Signal1027 on 2023-06-21 15:57:06+00:00.

I (27F) got engaged this year. Afterward, a friend/bridesmaid (22F), let’s call her Evelyn, suggested going dress shopping when 2 other friends would be in town visiting from CA. The out of town friends asked to make the appt on Thursday at 3pm since they were WFH. My work is flexible & Evelyn also agreed.

Days before the appt, Evelyn sends a text that she won’t be able to make it anymore. This bridal salon, & most others, closed by 5 or 6 on weekdays. The four of us were traveling on Friday, so Thursday was the only time that worked for the girls visiting from out of town. Evelyn had also attended my first wedding dress appt a few weeks prior.

At the appt., I of course wasn’t looking at my phone since it was in the dressing room while trying on dresses. Eventually, I find a dress that I really love. At some point, Evelyn texted in a group text asking for an update. The friend who is a bridesmaid, let’s call her Nina, sent a photo & said “We may have found the dress.” Evelyn’s response was “Interesting!”.

I end up buying the dress. The four of us, including Evelyn, had plans 3 hours later to all hang out. I was excited to show her my dress when she got there and tell her that I did buy it.

When she got to my house, the first thing she said was, “Did you buy a dress?” and I excitedly told her yes. She didn’t get excited & just stared at me for like 5-10 secs. I half-jokingly said “What? Are you mad I bought a dress when you weren’t there?” And she said “Ya I am. Hope you guys have fun tonight” and left my house.

Within 10 mins, she texts me saying things like “I’m so fucking pissed at you” “If you thought I wouldn’t be upset about this, you’re out of your damn mind” “there are other peoples feelings that count” “get a fucking grip bridezilla.” She came back over, and she cried and yelled at me and continued to tell me that I was selfish bc I wasn’t thinking about her while trying on my wedding dress. That I was selfish for not thinking about my other bridesmaids, my sisters, my mom, etc.

She started to “rank” my friends, and created a hierarchy of my bridesmaids, and told me that it’s fucked up that I bought a wedding dress with Nina and a friend who isn’t a bridesmaid. She also told me that the wedding dress was the one thing she really cared about, and she couldn’t care less about any other thing about my wedding.

For rest of the weekend, we put aside our differences and we were able to get along. But now that the weekend is over, I can’t stop thinking of all of this. She’s still putting blame on me for what happened last week, and I’m seriously considering getting rid of her as a bridesmaid, but I also know that that would end the friendship we have. She hasn’t acted like this before & I know that part of the reason she acted this way is because she’s insecure about how close I am with Nina & feels threatened.

AITA for not thinking about her (or anyone other than myself and my fiancé) when buying a wedding dress?