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The original was posted on /r/truscum by /u/FollowerOfVine on 2025-01-22 23:28:42+00:00.

I don’t want to ever tell anybody that I’m transsexual. I hate it so much about myself. My male brain was forced into a female body, and I will never be allowed to bury the past if I found a significant other. I just recently turned 25. Never had a girlfriend and probably never will at this point. I’ve been told by many people that I’m funny and charismatic, so I have a feeling I’d be able to find a girlfriend easily if I actually tried, but I’ve never even bothered.

So many people think it’s lying or even rape if a transsexual person doesn’t disclose their history to a sex partner, and I just can’t bring myself to disclose something like that. I don’t want to be seen as anything other than a normal man who just has a medical issue. I don’t mean harm. I don’t want to lie. But I know as soon as I’m honest, she’d never look at me the same way even if she’s nice about it. She’d never see me as a “real man” past that point.

I’ve already gone through a similar experience last year when I came out to a female coworker friend. I regret it every day. She already has a boyfriend, so we’re just friends (she’s at least ten years older than me anyway, and I’d prefer to be in a relationship with someone closer to my age). She was very nice and accepting about it. It went as good as it could’ve gone. However, now I’m not so sure she sees me the same way as before when she thought I was cis. Last month she had to cancel our bi-weekly dinner get-together on account of menstrual cramps, and she was giving me all these details about how her first day is especially painful. It just came off to me as her talking to “another girl” since women don’t usually discuss their menstruation with men. I’m sure some women are more open about it with everyone, but she in particular has never talked about it with me in the 3ish years I’ve known her. For all I know, she could’ve meant nothing by it, and I could just be overthinking this. I don’t think I could live my life with myself outed to a significant other constantly wandering what she meant by this or that.

I feels like it doesn’t matter if someone is nice and accepting if you come out to them. Nobody will see you as a male/female suffering from a birth defect. They’ll see you as the body you were born into, and it’s nothing they can help. I still want SRS for all of the other practical benefits it’ll give me, but it dampens my spirit when I consider I’ll never be able to use it to mate with a woman I love. I loathe this fucking disease.