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The original was posted on /r/cfs by /u/Neon_Dina on 2025-01-24 08:58:13+00:00.

I am in awe of how smart the internal processes in the body are (with all these various feedback loops). I think I developed long COVID around 2021, and I am currently severe (can’t work or do home chores; bedridden), waiting for an ME/CFS diagnosis.

1.5-2 years ago, I started gaining weight out of the blue and ended up with 20 extra kilograms. At the time, I had no idea I might have ME/CFS. I was trying to stay active even though I could no longer work, which only made my symptoms worse.

Fast forward to now, and my health has deteriorated to the point where even attending offline doctor appointments or procedures leaves me with awful PEM for days after. Recently, for the first time in my life, I struggled to eat despite being ravenously hungry. I was so nauseated that I was throwing up for three days.

What’s struck me through all this is that I owe my body an apology. For so long, I’ve treated it like a broken, uncooperative alien for not functioning how I wanted. But now I realise that it’s been doing everything it can to keep me alive against all odds.

Even the unexpected weight gain, which frustrated me so much at the time, has probably saved me from being even more miserable now. It’s clear to me now how finely balanced all these internal processes are and how hard my body is fighting.

I guess I just wanted to share this as a kind of epiphany. If anyone else is struggling with their health and feeling at odds with their body, maybe this perspective might help. You’re not broken, your body is trying its best to protect you.