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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/kwcakes on 2023-08-21 20:19:12.
Over the summer, my son went off the rails with his internet content and social media use. I thought I was doing a great job monitoring and teaching him responsibility and respect. I had parental guards on content, time limits, etc. He had been using Discord for gaming discussions and it was good for a shy kid who wanted to socialize.
At some point over the summer, he started becoming exposed to and involved in a lot of graphic sexual content and chats. My main concern is, from what I’ve seen, he has no sense of consent or respect for women, men or himself. He makes and joins in with rape jokes, hating on LGBTQ community, calling women sluts, whores, bitches, etc. He has always been such a sweet kid but everything has suddenly gone from 0 to 100. I think he was so psyched to have made school friends who he could connect with online, he just immersed himself in whatever they were doing. Which is this shit.
Once I realized what was going on, I took actions like deleting his Discord account after a long conversation as to what content wasn’t acceptable and him continuing to participate in it. I got him into therapy, which is good for him but I don’t know how much he is really sharing or listening. I’ve started having many talks with him about healthy sexual boundaries, what consent is and isn’t, and respect and why it’s important. Despite all this, I keep finding writings and drawings he is making that show he is still very much of the mindset that women are objects for entertainment and pleasure. It’s not just that he’s a teen boy drawing boobs and exploring his sexuality. He is being drawn to degrading women and it’s scaring me. It has been normalized by his social group and it needs to stop. He is young and I want to actively help grow his way of thinking.
Please share with me any TED talks, YT links, Websites, Documentaries, TV Shows… any content that might help me expose my son to reality. What respecting a woman means. Why it is important. What consent looks like. Anything related that might help. If he won’t listen to my lectures, maybe I can just keep exposing him to other media sources and hope it soaks in. We live in a major city. If there are groups he could volunteer in or join, I am really open to ideas. He is my first teen and I am freaking out. Can anyone help guide me to resources?
Update- I’m going to bed soon. I just wanted to thank everyone who read this post and contributed their thoughts and resources. You’ve given me a lot to consider and I feel more confident about how to approach this issue. I agree with so many of these comments and I’ve been watching all the links shared with me, as I can. My husband plans on sitting down tomorrow and watching the tea video with my son so they can start a conversation. Making this a regular thing going forward, as a commenter suggested. We are currently brainstorming social activities my son might join to replace the loss of discord and find healthier social outlets and better friends. I’m going to start doing some late night drives with my son to give him more opportunity to open up when he wants to, in a comfortable setting. I truly appreciate all of your help! You guys are awesome.