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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Euphoric-Glove-6889 on 2023-08-21 11:35:59.

My son recently died. I have not moved his stuff other than keeping it clean. I usually leave the door to his room closed.

I pick up and babysit my two nephews for around an hour on weekdays, since their mom (my sister-in-law) gets off work too late to pick them up. They are 11 and 13. Usually they are well behaved and do their own thing or even sometimes help me with chores.

On Friday I was cooking a very pungent soup so I aired the whole house out by opening all the windows and doors. I should have left my son’s room closed in hindsight, but I think I opened it out of habit. When their mom went to pick up her kids, I went to get them and saw them messing around with my son’s guitar. The older one was messing with the string screws while the younger one was plucking at the strings.

I admittedly freaked out a lot and I raised my voice at them, which I have never done. I said, “What are you doing? Drop that right now! What are you even doing in his room? Get out! Never come in this room again!” At that point they started crying, I pulled the guitar away, and their mother came in. She tried to mediate the situation and console them, but I told them all to get out of my house and they left. The guitar was thankfully okay and not scratched.

Their mom called me later to talk and apologized on their behalf, but told me that she thinks that we should all have a sit down and apologize to each other. She told me that I really scared her boys, and that although she thinks what I did was understandable, I overreacted in front of them. She told me that at the end of the day, they didn’t really do anything harmful and that they deserve an apology from me too.

I told her I do think that I overreacted but that I wasn’t sorry because they could’ve broke my son’s guitar. She told me that it’s extremely cruel to ever raise your voice at children and that I should be the bigger person.

Was I the asshole for doing that?