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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/chipchip000 on 2023-08-21 21:26:12.

My boyfriend, named Steve (24m) and I (22f) recently moved in together. We celebrated his birthday and our housewarming party on the same day. His parents came over and they have gotten him 2 gift cards to a steakhouse. The envelopes noted Steve and Steve’s guest. I didn’t have a problem with it at first since Steve’s parents are very religious and probably thought that us moving in together before marriage wasn’t a good idea, and this was their way of showing disapproval (maybe). It wasn’t an issue until Steve’s mom told me, in front of her husband and my boyfriend, that she didn’t think I “would like steak since I thought you only eat Oriental food.”

I am Asian is Steve is white. Over the period of 3 years of dating, his mom has made several remarks regarding my race/culture at most family events. I have always tried to disregard them because I’ve always been a non-confrontational person and didn’t want to start any drama at the family event. I’ve told Steve about these incidents and his go-to response was “she’s just old and ignorant, she doesn’t mean it.”

I was in shock, I didn’t think she meant any harm when she said that I only eat ‘Oriental’ food, but personally, it came off very ignorant and almost racist. Steve didn’t say anything. Before I left the circle, I told her that I love steak and I love eating almost everything, not just the ‘Oriental’ food. I ended up not talking to her for the rest of the night and did not say goodbye when they were headed out.

I have not talked to her since. And now my boyfriend wants to have a family get-together at our home. I have told him that he could invite his siblings, but not his mom because I feel uncomfortable around her, and would love to not have her negative energy around in my house anymore. Steve told me I was being mean and unreasonable. He told me it’s his mother and I should be more understanding because of her age(she is in her 60s apparently). AITA for telling him I don’t wanna see her in my home? I don’t mind if it’s somewhere else that I have to interact with her, just not my house…