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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/needadayaita on 2023-08-21 22:23:29.

My husband (38M) and I (40F) have been married for 8 years and have a 4-year-old son. I work for a regional park district managing the outdoor recreation/education program. Basically I work outside 90% of the time. The summer is by far my busiest time of the year and I routinely work 6 days a week. If I can make it work, I will take a day off during the week to offset my hours because our weekend events are the ones I’m most needed at since they are bigger (I’m salaried so don’t get overtime).

This is not new, I’ve been in this position since before my husband and I got married. He knows how busy I am this time of year. Since our son was born, my husband has gotten increasingly grumpy during this time of year because he obviously has to be responsible for our son during the weekends when I work.

We’ve fought about this a number of times because he feels like I should talk to my bosses about getting other people to take over some of my weekend events so he doesn’t get “stuck” with our son by himself every weekend. I feel like he needs to suck it up because this isn’t new to anyone and it’s only a small portion of the year that my schedule is like this. His argument is that there is nothing he does that leaves me parenting by myself for similar amounts of time and that there needs to be more of a balance in that area.

This past weekend I had events on both Saturday and Sunday, full 8 hour days in outside in the heat. By the time I got home both nights I was exhausted and just wanted to take a shower and go to sleep. I tried to watch a movie with them Saturday night, but fell asleep on the couch. Last night I crashed by 8pm.

This morning I told my husband I was going to go to work from home for a bit in the morning to offset my hours. But after my husband took our son to daycare and I started looking at emails, I changed my mind to just take the day off and get some rest and maybe do a few things around the house.

I must have fallen asleep on the couch because I woke up to my husband making himself lunch in the kitchen. He regularly comes home for lunch because his office is nearby. I asked him how his day was going and a few other questions and he kept giving me one-work answers. I asked him if he was OK and he told me he was tired and feels like he hasn’t gotten a break all summer and it’s frustrating for him to come home and see me napping when I told him I was going to work from home.

I told him I was still tired from the weekend and decided to take the day off. He said he’s tired too and that I need to start doing a better job of taking his needs into consideration as well instead of just focusing on my own. He said it’s not fair to him to work 5 days a week, then be solo parent all weekend while all I do is work and sleep.

I told him that summer is almost over so my weekends will free up again soon. But all he said was “Since you’re rested now, you can pick up son from daycare. I won’t be home for dinner.”