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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/bookbosomedredditor on 2023-08-22 17:58:32.

TLDR: We are on vacation. Dad pays for it. Forces me to do household chores while doing nothing because I am female. Says if I want everything equal I (F16) can pay for my vacation. AITA?

My dad (43) is an engineer working full time, my mom (42) a SAHM.

When we are at home, my mom does most of the housework and I do help her with chores, my dad does very little (about 5%) which is perfectly fine. We never argued about that.

But currently we are on vacation and it bothers me that my father won’t do anything which is fine because it’s fine by my mother BUT he forces ME to do those chores. Little chores, not even worth mentioning (like cleaning the kitchen after a meal). But it enrages me that he will meanwhile sit on the sofa having no excuse but being male.

I brought this up yesterday. My father said it’s fine, that women do the chores around the house and men do harder things to earn money like chopping wood. I told him that’s not the case in this situation. He is on vacation - as mom and I are - and does not work. He started getting aggressive, calling me names and that not everything can be split up 50/50 all the time and sometimes one person wants to do something good for the other person. I said you don’t force doing something good and that he was being unreasonably aggressive because he has no arguments.

I went to the bathroom and came back, he said he wanted to discuss the matter - confident that he had the breaking argument:

He said that if I want everything equal I could pay for my share of the vacation. I replied saying that I’m his child, I go to school and don’t work. He said he doesn’t have to take me on vacation.

… which is true but does this justify his doing nothing to help mum but forcing me to do so because I am “going to be a wife and mother”?

I can’t help but feel a bit bratty now and would like a third party opinion. So Reddit, AITA?

(again: My problem is not doing chores if he does them too, it’s his attitude that I think is sexist)

Edit: (because some people think I refuse to do the chores) I do them, mostly without complaint. This argument took place when my dad and I were having a conversation.