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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwraPainter-4325 on 2023-06-21 19:12:40+00:00.

I (42F) have a daughter (24F), Sam. Sam is my oldest, i have 4 more children that are all still minors. Sam has been living with me and her siblings for a year. She left a bad relationship, and I offered for her to stay with me, rent free, as long as she wanted. My only stipulation was to help around the house, and either work or be in school.

Sam is an excellent daughter at home. She is a 4.0 student in college, works full time and babysits a few nights a week. She is super helpful with her siblings, keeps her space clean, helps around the house, etc. The problem is when she’s not home.

Sam’s best friends are a group of guys in their early 30’s. She spends most of her free time with them, and will often sleep over at one of their houses on weekends. I don’t love that, but she’s an adult and can do as she pleases. My issue is her reckless behavior that I think they’re to blame for. Sam recently bought a dirtbike, got into a crash, cut her leg open, then let one of the boys (not trained at all) give her 10 stitches in it. She goes on whitewater rafting trips with them, ski’s avalanche terrain, rock climbs outdoors, goes to raves, stays out partying till 4am, hitchhikes around alaska, sleeps over at random guys houses, etc. Her brother (not my son) also recently told me that Sam invited him to a house party with her, where she was seen doing lines and smoking weed. I don’t even like her drinking, so I am definitely not a fan of this.

We got into the other day when she was home, and I told her that if she continues to live this reckless lifestyle, she has to move out. Her dad said I’m being too hard on her, and that we should be happy she’s finally living life after helping raise her siblings for years.

So, AITA?

TLDR; daughter is behaving recklessly, i told her she has to move out if she continues.

EDIT TO ADD:

Sam was diagnosed with stage 2 cancer about 18 months ago. (She went through treatment, and is in remission) That was when her whole personality changed. She left her relationship (which, no one was upset about. It was long overdue), and became an outdoorsy, risk taking, partying indivudal. She was never like this before, she seems happier now, but like i stated above, she’s far too risky.