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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Nerebaby on 2023-08-23 00:34:33.

I (30F) have been best friends with J (30F) for 15 years. J was my bridesmaid at my wedding and even gave a speech. Two months before my wedding, I picked her up from Arizona. She left her bf of 10 years, M (30M) and their three toddler children to help me set up my bridal shower. I picked her up on a Thursday, we prepared on Friday, and celebrated on Saturday. On Sunday afternoon, J’s sister, another pregnant friend of ours, and I decided to go out to a local bar. With their knowledge, I invited my two best guy friends. After the bar closed at 12, we went to their apartment two blocks away, which was J’s younger sister’s idea. There were no ill intentions from anyone. It was just friends hanging out with friend’s friends. While there, M & J argued because he didn’t want her there. As soon as she told me, we left immediately. This caused M to not allow J to attend my bachelorette party. I personally apologized but the damage had already been done. He also didn’t want her to be a bridesmaid, but she eventually convinced him to let her be one and to attend both the ceremony and reception.

Now, it’s J’s turn to get married. M claims that I bring back painful memories of that night for him. Therefore, he asked that I be removed as a bridesmaid. She later told me he’s uncertain if he’s okay with me even attending, but she will keep me informed. Her last message to me was, “I talked to him and he doesn’t have a problem with you attending the bachelorette party, so I hope you can come.” I know it would mean a lot to her if I attended but I feel rejected & humiliated. AITA for wanting to remove myself entirely?