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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Grouchy-Mushroom4055 on 2023-08-23 00:20:43.

My husband is one of these guys that is “hyper masculine”. He is a really strong, tall muscular guy who does Strength competitions and in some ways believes in a traditional marriage (not all ways). I am a pretty masculine woman, I work in professional sports, my degree is in sports, I do not believe in most traditional marriage ways, but we’re a pretty modern couple and meet each other half way.

My husband is in a career that we believe will make him money in the long run, but his current role is very underpaid as is mine, so we do struggle a bit financial. My full time job is home based most of the time so I have a bit more flexibility than him, so therefore I have another part time job as a cleaner. Because money is especially tight at the moment I also decided to get a night job as well. My husband hates the idea, but at the end of the day we need the money and I’ve had a job since I was 12 and have always worked hard, even having a full time job through high school. Whereas my husband comes from a pretty privileged background and went to a private school, and although he works hard, I’m just more used to it.

Recently my husband has been making jokes about me liking him because he’s so “masculine” and how women love a traditional, masculine man. He says stuff along those line and I’ve started hitting back with remarks like “oh do most masculine men’s wives work 90 hours a week?” Or “Oh okay, you want to be a traditional masculine man? Well I’ll just quit my 3 jobs, be a stay at home wife and you can worry about the money”. He always get’s really upset at these sorts of comments, and I always end up feeling bad, but at the end of the day their true! As I always tell him, he can’t have it both ways, but should I really be making comments like that?