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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Lux_Tenebr1s on 2023-08-23 05:25:02.

If you had told me years ago that I would be in this situation, I would have laughed, but here we go. My boyfriend suggested that I get an outside perspective here.

I (26F) was dating “James” (M26) for most of college and we had plans to get engaged after graduation. Two months before graduation, I caught him planning to cheat. Nothing physical seemed to have happened yet, but he and another girl were making plans for a weekend that he told me he was going for a quick visit home. Cheating is an instant dealbreaker to me, so it was over. Instead of having a fight, I didn’t say anything, just waited til after he left for “home”, texted him proof that I had caught him and “good thing you’re single now, have fun”, then blocked him on everything and went for a girls weekend with friends. James lost his shit and spent a month trying to get in contact with me or guilt friends into helping him. The few messages that got through I trashed without even reading them. After awhile, I thought he had finally given up.

About a year later, my sister (24F) announces she wants to bring her boyfriend home to meet the family. We didn’t realize she had a boyfriend, but my parents had a BBQ and told her to bring him. It was James. My parents were stunned but tried to pull it together. I just left. My sister called and tried to explain later that they had met at a party on campus and it was no big deal since I broke up with him. I told her I thought she could do better, but she could make her own mistakes. I just wouldn’t be spending time around them. She got mad about it, because our parents “took my side”.

I don’t get along with my sister at the best of times, so avoiding them wasn’t hard except at holidays. My parents caved and let him come to Thanksgiving and Christmas since they seemed serious. James seemed way too invested in getting back on my good side when he was around and it apparently made my sister jealous, because she started acting brattier than normal. This last weekend was a milestone birthday for my mom and I thought it would be a good chance to introduce them to my boyfriend Todd (29M). Mom gave it the ok and Todd actually made a great impression on the family. James was there with my sister and he was pissed and left early. My sister called me later and yelled at me for upsetting James and trying to make him jealous to get his attention. I told her that she knew she was getting a cheat when she decided to date my sloppy seconds and he was no longer my problem.

Since then she’s blown up social media venting about it and is refusing to see my parents for the holidays if Todd and I are there. My parents think she’s over the top and acting out but she’s on their case so much they want me to try and smooth it over and apologize for calling him sloppy seconds. I think it was an apt description.