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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/ThrowRA_Narcdil on 2023-06-21 19:46:26+00:00.

My (42) son (Jay - 18) is having a baby with his girlfriend (Kate - 18). I will be honest in saying I don’t think they are ready for this. They have been together for less than a year, but she is due in July. Obviously I know that things happen, so we are doing our best to embrace it. I’m excited to meet this new little person.

Anyways, Kate’s family is uninvolved – they honestly weren’t great parents to begin with, but when they found out they kicked their pregnant 17 year old to the streets. My son and her were living with me until 2 weeks ago when they got their first apartment – I am extremely proud of them. We had a room set up for the baby, but since they got their own place, I let them take all the baby items I purchased. I mean a fully furnished nursery, and then of course everything from the shower – that baby isn’t going to be wanting for much.

Well, the baby is breech. They have tried everything to get that baby to turn, but nothing! So, they have an C-section scheduled for July 3rd assuming the baby doesn’t flip\she goes into labor. I requested this day off of work, and then asked my son and Kate if they would like me to pick them up or if they planned to have my son drive them. My son was confused and told me that he would drive them, why would I drive them? I told him I was just offering, and told him I’d be in the waiting room waiting for her to get out of surgery. Then Kate jumped in and said they weren’t having any visitors at the hospital. She said she needed time to heal, and they wanted to bond with the baby. She said it would just be the two of them and her sister.

I’ll admit I was pretty taken aback – I mean, I feel like as the grandparent I’m closer then the aunt – but whatever. I said okay because I didn’t want to fight, and said I would be waiting at their house. Kate jumped back in and said the only visitor they would be having was her older sister. She said she would be in pain, bleeding, and trying to breastfeed, and that she wanted privacy to do that. She also said that I never got my TDAP booster (which I don’t need as I had it maybe 5 years ago when I had to go to the ER for a cut), so I couldn’t come until the baby had its first shots or I got the shot. I pointed out to her if she didn’t have a vaginal birth that she wouldn’t be bleeding and it would just be a surgery recovery and she could stay in the bedroom and relax and my son could bring her the baby when its hungry. She told me that ‘nobody was taking her newborn from her’. Lots of other things were said, and I feel extremely taken advantage of. I sheltered and provided for her and my son and I didn’t have to - plus I gifted them a lot. I now see a lot of other narc tendencies from her, and I feel like its WWIII with my poor boy caught in the middle.

I don’t feel like an asshole, but she and my son are saying I am. AITA?

Edit to add:

  1. I’m a man.

  2. I see now that I have been the ass in several ways, so I’m going to just apologize to keep the peace and accept that I’ll have to wait.